


Havana

by chucknovak



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: (between myra and eddie, (eddie on myra), (no one else/not any of the losers on each other), Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cheating, Coming Out, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Hand Jobs, Inspired by Music, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Vers!Eddie, Vers!Richie, eddie bill and ben are 22, not eddie and richie), richie bev stan and mike are 24, side stanlon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-05-13 13:55:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14750141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chucknovak/pseuds/chucknovak
Summary: Eddie Kaspbrak, a senior in college, lives a closeted life. That life, however, is challenged when he meets Richie Tozier on spring break.(Inspired by Camila Cabello's song Havana)





	1. My Heart is in Havana

**Author's Note:**

> This song will not stop playing at work and eventually this au came into my head and this happened lol. This will probably be around 4-6 chapters/parts, but I'm not really sure yet. Also I've never been to Havana, but I've never been to any other major spring break spot either lol so I figured I'd keep with the song's location. I'm doing research about Havana for this, but I'm also making some stuff up/keeping some stuff vague lol so sorry for any inaccuracies.
> 
> Also, re the abusive relationship tag, eddie and myra's relationship in this is pretty much the same dynamic as in the book

_Havana, ooh na-na_  
_Half of my heart is in Havana, ooh-na-na_  
_He took me back to East Atlanta, na-na-na_  
_Oh, but my heart is in Havana_  
_There's somethin' 'bout his manners_  
_Havana, ooh na-na_

 _I knew it when I met him_  
_I loved him when I left him_  
_Got me feelin' like_  
_Ooh-ooh-ooh, and then I had to tell him_  
_I had to go_

Eddie stared forlornly out the window of the Atlanta-bound plane as Bill nodded off beside him. A baby started crying a few rows back. _Same, kid,_ he thought bitterly. The child was soon soothed by his mother, leaving the plane in a silence that drove Eddie further into his thoughts. He could hear the music playing, could feel the beat of the bass vibrating in his chest as it had done only a week before.

Spring break. Eddie had always spent his at home, and it was his last semester of college, so he, Bill, and Ben had saved up enough money for a trip to Cuba. Eddie, though not as ecstatic as his two friends, was excited; his girlfriend, Myra on the other hand, not so much. She was very protective of Eddie, and was incredibly worried about him on a regular basis, so she had thrown a fit when he had told her of his plans. Eddie had his own concerns about the diseases carried by other airplane passengers and his immune system getting a shock from such a new environment, but if worrying about his health was a race, Myra left Eddie completely in the dust. She had immediately begun listing all of the horrible things that could go wrong, tears springing to her eyes as Eddie did his best to calm her down. The thought of her coming with him was of course completely out of the question; Myra couldn’t get behind the wheel of a car or step foot in an amusement park, much less spend hours in an airplane or leave the country. It had taken a week of convincing and letting her coddle him even more than usual, but Eddie eventually convinced his girlfriend to let him go on the trip. Still, she had sobbed as he left for the airport, and his phone was blowing up with messages of concern before he even took off. He felt guilty about leaving her alone for a whole week, but this was one of his last chances to have a fun vacation with his best friends, and he wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity.

The three boys spent the first afternoon in Havana exploring the few blocks around their hotel, but after dinner Ben and Bill were exhausted from the day of travelling and decided to have a night in to recuperate. Eddie, however, was restless; Myra’s anxieties were adding to his own, and he needed to get his mind off of it. He left his friends in the hotel room to go for a much needed walk, figuring he could get some fresh air, some exercise, and explore a little farther than the group had that afternoon.

It had cooled down in the few hours since he had been outside, the disappearance of the sun leaving the air pleasantly warm and unoppressive. Eddie wandered for a while, intermittently daydreaming about the fun to be had in the week ahead and worrying about Myra. He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten or how far he had wandered until he realized he was in the middle of a street full of bars and clubs, all with their lights on and blasting music. Clubs weren’t normally Eddie’s scene, but he figured he hadn’t gotten himself a passport just to stay cooped up in a hotel room for all of spring break. Maybe he was also rebelling against the life of restriction he was growing tired of, but he convinced himself that he was just saving himself the vexation of looking for good places to party with Ben and Bill the next day as he walked into one of the clubs.

Once the bouncer accepted Eddie’s ID, he entered the club and was immediately struck by stimulation to almost all of his senses. Bright lights flashed and loud music blasted – live music, Eddie was pleased to note. The densely packed room smelled of alcohol and fried food, but that was to be expected. There were tables surrounding the dance floor, but Eddie opted to take a seat at the bar. He ordered a mojito, wondering to himself why the place was so packed, considering it was just reaching eleven o’clock. His question was soon answered as the act ended and a new band came onto the stage, the crowd erupting into cheers as they did so.

A girl with fire red hair and a bass slung on her shoulder stepped up to the microphone, smiling as the applause calmed down. “Hey, everyone,” she greeted in a sweet but dusky voice, “how are you all doing tonight?” There was a chorus of cheers in response. “We are so grateful to be back here with all of you tonight! Your support means the world to us, and I hope we can give you a show that brightens up your night. Sincerely,” she winked, “The Losers Club.”

Eddie wasn’t sure about the name, but the name didn’t really matter once they started playing; they were _really_ good. Eddie was more of a pop music kind of person, but he was really enjoying the indie rock music the band was playing. Besides the front woman, there was a skinny guy with light, curly hair playing the keyboard, a broad-shouldered guy playing the drums, and a tall guy with huge glasses and wild black curls playing the guitar. Eddie’s eyes lingered on the guitarist. His eyes were downcast, caught up in the music, and even though Eddie wasn’t too close to the stage he could see his long eyelashes nearly brushing his sharp, freckled cheeks. Eddie looked down at the guitar and watched him play as the girl crooned, watched his fingers slide up and down the neck and pluck at the strings.

The voice of the bar tender startled Eddie, and he thanked him for the drink before turning back to the band, his face hot. He sipped the cool drink, hoping that it would help. The first song ended, and Eddie clapped along with everyone else in the club. The bassist thanked the crowd and stepped back, allowing the wild-haired guitarist to step up to the mic. Eddie watched as he licked his lips and brought them to the microphone. “Hey everyone, hope you’re all having a good time. This next one’s an original, and for all of you single guys and gals out there-” Eddie’s eyes flew up at that, and he swore the other boy’s blue ones were looking right into his as he said, “I’m Richie,” with a wink. Eddie’s breath caught; he was worried that it might be his asthma, as he hadn’t brought his inhaler on his walk. He tried to calm himself down, telling himself it was just the crowdedness of the bar. His breathing stopped altogether when the guitarist – Richie – started singing. His voice was ridiculously beautiful. Eddie melted into it, mesmerized by the sound of his voice and the movement of his lips.

Eddie watched their entire set, entranced, and found he was disappointed when they said goodnight and left the stage. He kept watching as they gathered their stuff, his breath catching when he saw the guy who’d been playing the keyboard kiss the drummer. Eddie got a weird feeling in his stomach whenever he saw two guys together romantically; a part of him knew why, but it was a part he tried to ignore. However, in such a new setting where there was no Myra, where no one knew who Eddie was, the thoughts came more easily. Especially when his eyes wandered back to the guitarist. Eddie swore the two singers were both looking at him as they talked. Telling himself that couldn’t be the case, he turned back to the bar and checked his phone; it was just past midnight. Just as he was thinking he would get up and go back to the hotel, he heard a newly familiar voice ask, “What’re you drinking?” Eddie’s eyes snapped up to find Richie leaning against the bar, his black curls falling in his eyes as he smiled down at him. Eddie didn’t know why he suddenly felt so nervous, but he dismissed the feeling as best he could, assuring himself it just had to do with how talented the guy standing next to him was. And maybe his height – he was even taller up close, especially since Eddie was still seated.

“You guys were great,” Eddie blurted out, not answering the question. A grin split across Richie’s face as he took a seat next to Eddie.

“Thanks,” he said. “I’m Richie, by the way.”

“I know,” Eddie said, his cheeks flaring up as soon as the words left his lips. “I mean, you said that already,” he explained further, nodding toward the stage.

“What about you?” Richie asked, the amused expression on his face growing as Eddie looked at him perplexed. “Do you have a name?”

“Eddie,” he answered, scowling a bit at the mocking tone in Richie’s voice. Weirdly, though, he found he wasn’t really too bothered by it.

“Nice to meetcha,” Richie replied in a horrendous attempt at a Brooklyn accent. Or maybe it was a Harley Quinn impression, Eddie couldn’t really tell, but it made his lips twist up into an involuntary grin. “So, what brings you down here? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

“I’m on spring break with my friends,” Eddie explained, playing nervously with his napkin. Richie’s eyebrows shot up in amusement.

“Ahh, wet and wild party girls sort of thing?” he teased, waggling his eyebrows. Eddie rolled his eyes, not wanting to think too hard about what he meant by that. “So where are these friends, Eddie Spaghetti? They leave you to get some quality spreak ass?” Eddie really wasn’t sure which term to question first: the nickname or the term “spreak.” He decided on the former, if almost reflexively.

“It’s Eddie,” he said, “and my friends are back at our hotel room, probably sleeping. We just flew in today, so they’re pretty exhausted.”

“You’re not?” Richie asked, suddenly seeming more earnestly engaged in the conversation.

Eddie shrugged. “I think I’m too excited to be tired. Or nervous, maybe. I don’t travel much.”

“Well, I’d be happy to be your personal tour guide if you’d like,” Richie offered with a wink. “This club is a great place to start. You been scoping out the bar scene tonight?”

“Sort of,” Eddie said. “This is the only one I’ve been to, but I’d say it’s going well," he grinned shyly. "Although I don’t have much to go off of; I don’t go to bars or clubs very often, so I don’t really know what you’re supposed to do at them.” Richie made a face in response to that that was both exaggeratedly offended and elated.

“Why, you drink and dance, of course!” he proclaimed in another awful, unidentifiable accent. “And since I can see you’ve already got the drinking part down, I think it’s time to get you out on the dancefloor.” Eddie blanched at that.

“Oh, no, I don’t-” he began, but Richie’s hand was grabbing his and for some reason the touch shoved any words he could’ve said back down his throat. He silently let Richie lead him into the middle of a mass of swaying bodies, his eyes focused on the hand that absolutely engulfed his. The fingers that had so expertly played an hour’s worth of guitar, fingers that gripped the microphone and pulled it to his lips… His lips…

“You good?” Richie asked with a smirk on his face, pulling Eddie from his trance. He realized he had been staring at Richie’s lips, and all he could manage to do was look Richie in the eyes and nod dumbly. He had probably become a little dehydrated and was becoming spacey. He figured he should get some water but found that he really didn’t want to leave Richie’s side. “Wow, you really don’t dance, do you?” he chuckled. Eddie blushed.

“No,” he said, crossing his arms. “I look stupid.”

“Hey, no one’s watching.”

“ _You’re_ watching.”

“You want me to turn around?” he joked, his smile lighting up his face and making Eddie feel lighter, even if he still put on a façade of taking offense. He really did not want Richie to turn around. Thankfully he didn’t; instead he did start bouncing, which quickly led to jumping and flailing his wild curls around. Eddie couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re really gonna leave me looking like an idiot all by myself?” he coaxed. Eddie conceded, beginning to sway a little bit. “Look at that! He’s alive!” Richie exclaimed, mocking every cheesy Frankenstein movie reference ever made in cinematic history. Eddie rolled his eyes, but found himself giddy with energy as Richie took both of his hand in his and swirled them gracelessly through the air as he jumped. It was a good time, if crowded. Someone bumped Eddie, causing him to knock into Richie’s chest. He was going to apologize, but Richie didn’t seem bothered, so he decided to just go with it.

However, he began to regret that decision as the music began to slow down. It wasn’t a sad or romantic slow, but a sensual, crooning slow, and Eddie knew he couldn’t dance to that kind of music. “I think I’m gonna sit this one out,” he said with a sheepish smile, beginning to back away. Richie’s hands landed on his waist, loose enough that Eddie could still back out if he wanted to. Eddie let Richie pull him back in.

“Come on, we just got here,” he grinned. Eddie wanted to smile back, but he felt like his entire body was on fire. Or encased in ice. _Oh god,_ he thought, panic rising in his chest. But there was also something else. “And with an ass like that, there’s no way you can look dumb moving it," Richie winked. Eddie thought that he should probably be offended and freaked out by the comment, but he really didn't mind. Like, at all. In fact, he was a little freaked out by the fact that he _liked_ that Richie complimented him like that. He froze, unsure of how to navigate the situation. “Hey, you’re okay,” Richie said in a reassuring, yet still lighthearted voice. Eddie loosened up at that, allowing his hips to follow the movements Richie’s hands were setting for them. He looked up into Richie’s eyes, unable to look anywhere else; as cheesy as it was, a feeling of magnetism overcame him. It was scary and foreign, but exhilarating – Eddie had never felt those cheesy feelings everyone always talked about before. It was like he finally _got_ it. His chest was just barely brushing against Richie’s, but it was enough to send electricity racing through him.

“Richie…” he began, but trailed off as he felt Richie’s fingers brush against the skin on the inside of his wrist. God, he probably already had those fingers memorized.

“Yeah?” Richie asked, his voice low. A litany of panicked curses sang through Eddie’s mind, but as much as his mind was telling him to flee, his body stayed, begging to get closer. But closer Richie got, and Eddie realized that Richie’s eyes were trained on Eddie’s lips. Eddie hadn’t even noticed that his hands had come to rest on Richie’s shoulders, or that his head was tilted up towards him.

“I can’t,” he blurted, jumping back and bumping into at least two people. Richie seemed to still be in somewhat of a daze as he looked questioningly at Eddie. “I… I’m not…” Eddie tried to explain, but his throat was closing over his words.

“Hey, Eds, you okay?” Richie asked gently, taking a step forward. Eddie suddenly felt very claustrophobic, and the fact that he wanted to press himself into Richie made the urge to run even stronger. 

“I have a girlfriend,” Eddie said quietly. “I’m… I’m not gay.”

“Doesn’t seem that way,” Richie teased, but Eddie felt sick to his stomach. He supposed it showed, as Richie’s face soon fell. “Shit, hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t-” But Eddie was already turning and pushing his way through the crowd. He was vaguely aware of Richie trying to follow him, but Eddie was smaller and more agile, and so he made it to the door and was out on the street in record time, no tall, blue-eyed guitarist behind him.

As Eddie stumbled out of the club, the air that was once pleasantly warm now blistered his skin. He felt incredibly nauseous, and desperate for his inhaler. He was trying to wean himself off of it, having known for years the truth: that it had no medicine in it. But the rapidly closing sensation in his throat begged for the lie’s relief.

Lies. Eddie was swimming in them, but he stuffed them down, far down, where he didn’t have to think about them. But now this random guy, Richie, was undoing all of those carefully weaved untruths, and Eddie wasn’t sure he could handle it. He felt similar to when he was nine and had lied to his mom in order to go to a water park with Bill and one of those giant buckets of water had emptied onto Eddie’s unsuspecting frame, knocking him to the ground and flooding his unprepared windpipe with water. He always knew that he never looked at girls the same as he looked at guys, but this was so far beyond that. Eddie had never let himself touch another guy before, and now he couldn’t ignore why that was. Because the truth was that touching Richie was so much different than touching Myra, so much _better_ , and Eddie had never felt this alive. It was incredibly overwhelming, but he had to admit that he didn’t hate it, no matter how much he wished he did. He really liked it actually, he liked it so much more than he realized was possible, and that was the problem.

He realized suddenly that he had no idea where he was, so he pulled out his phone and put the hotel’s address in his navigation. It helped to have something else to focus on, and the twenty minute walk that he apparently had ahead of him would hopefully help to calm him down. He had a number of worried texts from Myra, but he decided to leave those until the next morning, when he could make some excuse about falling asleep early and instead just followed the directions on the screen. Eddie had a natural affinity for directions and finding his way around, but his mind was frazzled and chaotic, and focusing on the directions on his phone helped ground him. At times confused and angry tears blurred the screen in his hands, and he had to wipe his cheeks and catch his breath. He made sure his breathing was even as he quietly made his way into the hotel room, grateful to find both Bill and Ben asleep.

He crawled into bed next to Bill and closed his eyes, the ghost of the feeling of Richie surrounding him and heating up his skin as he fell asleep.

 


	2. I Knew it When I Met Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie is a gay disaster with really bad (or good) luck

As usual, Ben was already up and active by the time Eddie’s eyes opened the next morning. Conversely, Bill would likely be out cold for at least another half hour. Eddie dragged himself over to the table where Ben was sitting, sipping tea from a Styrofoam cup. “Morning, Eddie,” Ben greeted him with a smile, quietly so as to not wake Bill. Eddie grunted in response. Eddie never understood how Ben could be so energetic so early; he claimed he’d conditioned himself at a young age by waking up early for the Saturday morning cartoons (which Eddie hadn’t even known were an actual thing). “You got back late last night. Where did you go?”

Eddie froze. Last night. Suddenly a smooth voice and a pair of strikingly blue eyes behind ridiculously large glasses came flooding back to him, not to mention that lopsided smile, and those fingers…

“Checked out the club scene,” Eddie mumbled, getting up to pour himself some coffee (which Ben had already made for him, despite being a tea drinker himself).

“Oh cool! Find any good ones?” Ben asked. Eddie shrugged, taking a gulp from his cup despite the fact that it was still pretty hot.

“It was alright,” he said, “I only went to one, but there was a good band that played.”

“That sounds fun! We should all go together before we leave.” Eddie’s body thrummed at the idea of going back, at the thought of seeing Richie again. However, the thrumming turned to a sick feeling in his stomach as he saw his phone light up on the bedside table. He knew it was from Myra, and he knew he couldn’t avoid answering her for much longer – she probably already thought he was dead in a ditch somewhere. Ben gave him a sympathetic look. He only knew a little bit of what Myra was like; Bill knew a bit better and was much more verbal in his dislike for her.

Eddie trudged over to his phone and suppressed a groan at the barrage of texts. He counted fourteen in total since he’d left for his walk the previous night. He informed his girlfriend that he was safe and sound in his hotel room, a subtle feeling of resentment blossoming in his chest. He had started dating Myra about halfway through their first semester at school, and they had been together for over three years, but in the past year or so Eddie had begun feeling a sensation he at first had not been able to name (or refused to). He had realized recently that it was resentment, some sort of anger, but he’d been pushing it down to the best of his abilities, telling himself that Myra loved him, that she was safety, that she was home. But Eddie was beginning to question if home was such a good thing for him to find in a partner.

Eddie filled a paper cup with water and fished his pill organizer out of his bag. Myra has insisted on packing and organizing it for him, just as his mother had as a child. It was thoughts and memories like those that made Eddie want to throw the pill case against the wall and hear them scatter across the floor. He craved the chaos he was denied. But he didn’t throw the pills, didn’t even put them away; he sighed and took them one by one, with plenty of water to settle the thrumming in his chest. He put them away, a shame that he occasionally felt rising in his chest as he made his way back to the table. He stared out the window, the morning sun streaming through the billowing curtains. A dread settled in his stomach, his mind distracted. He couldn’t stop thinking about Richie: his voice; the way he smelled; his contagious smile; the way he touched Eddie, made his skin burn and his stomach flip. It was almost like anxiety (though Eddie was sure there was plenty of that as well), but it felt good. Eddie had never felt so good in his life, had never felt such a rush. And he’d run out on the person – the guy – who made him feel that way. Eddie’s heart fell at the thought of never seeing him again. Sure, his band might play the same venue two nights in a row, but they also might not. And what would Eddie even do if he went back and Richie _was_ there? How would he explain that? “Oh yeah, I just really liked the drinks.” Eddie was sure anyone would see through that.

“Eddie?” Ben’s gentle voice pulled Eddie from his trance.

“Hm?”

“You good?”

“Yeah, I’m just starving,” he lied, craving a distraction. “You think Bill will be up any time soon?”

“Probably not,” Ben smirked. “You wanna get him up?” The two boys glanced over at their friend, who had stretched his body entirely across the bed since Eddie’s recent departure. He was thoroughly knocked out.

“No way.”

The two left and asked the girl at the desk for breakfast recommendations. They followed her directions to a nearby café, eating in and getting take out for Bill, who was still sleeping when they returned. Eddie tossed the bag at Bill, hitting him in the face with his breakfast sandwich. The redhead grumbled in complaint, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Get up, I wanna explore,” Eddie said. “I’m taking a shower, and you better be done eating once I get out.”

“Okay, m-mom,” Bill replied sleepily, fishing his breakfast out of the bag.

Eddie tried not to make it obvious that he was thinking so deeply about what to wear. He’d only packed his favorite outfits and some new ones, so he liked all of his options, but he couldn’t help but feel antsy about the decision. Once he had an outfit picked out, he headed to the bathroom, grateful for the solitude it provided. It took a moment for Eddie to figure out the shower, and another for the water to warm up. The stream was surprisingly strong, and Eddie closed his eyes and let the water flow over him. It felt good to wash the day of travel off, but he couldn’t seem to get the feelings from the previous night out from under his skin. The thought of Richie burned more than the water. His eyes and voice floated through Eddie’s mind, the memory of his fingers and lips making Eddie’s hand inch down his torso.

He quickly drew his hand back as if burned. His cheeks were red from more than just the steam, and shameful tears prickled suddenly in his eyes, threatening to spill over. He hated how much he wanted Richie, a person he didn’t even know, a _guy_. He tried to think of Myra, but he didn’t really feel anything. Maybe the tiniest sliver of guilt, and even a little bit of contempt, but not desire, not love. It hurt to confront it, but Eddie had to admit to himself that he’d known he didn’t love her for a while now. Thinking back, he didn’t think he ever had. He felt bad, because he knew she really cared about him; she was always looking out for him, and the thought of anything bad happening to him made her burst into tears. But Eddie just… didn’t feel the same. But how could he leave her? Certainly a stranger he’d likely never see again wasn’t enough reason to break off a three year relationship.

More frustrated than before, Eddie stepped out of the shower and got dressed so that Bill could shower and they could all go do something, anything to get his mind off of his sexuality crisis. Eddie switched between apps on his phone trying to distract himself, becoming more and more anxious with every minute he spent cooped up in the room. Stepping out onto the balcony helped to clear his mind a bit, as the room had a (somewhat distant) view of the ocean. Still, it was close enough that the sea breeze filled Eddie’s mind and ruffled his hair, which relaxed him marginally.

Finally Bill was ready and the trio departed, deciding to go check out Old Havana, as the Internet claimed it was the most important place to visit in the city. However, it was about a forty-five minute walk from where they were staying. The three had been relying on Eddie and his navigation skills to get them there, but Eddie was distracted, and he wasn’t so confident that he was leading them in the right direction. The navigation on their phones turned out to be no help either, as it gave them multiple different locations, and they weren’t sure which one was right. Eventually Bill and Ben decided to pull out a map of the city the concierge had given them and try their best to follow the instructions she’d given. Eddie huffed, following gloomily behind them as they argued over how far away they were and which streets to take. Suddenly, a freckled feminine hand with bright red nails appeared at the top of the map and snatched it deftly from Ben and Bill’s hands.

“You boys lost?” the girl asked. Eddie froze. Bill and Ben froze as well, though Eddie suspected for a different reason. Eddie recognized that voice, and sure enough the bassist from the night before – Beverly – was smiling brightly at the three of them. _Chill_ , Eddie told himself as he began to panic. _He’s probably not even with her. People in bands usually hate each other, right?_

“Y-y-yeah,” Bill chuckled, his cheeks bright red and eyes still wide as saucers.

“Okay, well first of all, you are nowhere near any point on this red line,” she informed them with a charming grin.

“Bev, stop harassing the tourists.” The drummer rolled up with his arm slung over the keyboardist’s shoulders. Eddie could feel his throat constricting. _Please let it just be the three of them_ -

“Aw, but Stanny, it’s so fun!” _Oh god, why? Why me? What did I do?_ Eddie asked himself, thinking he might be feeling a little sick as Richie came up behind the other two – the keyboardist being Stan, apparently, as he rolled his eyes. Eddie’s panic was soon mixed up with an intoxicating concoction of other emotions as his eyes refused to move from Richie. Memories of the night before came back even more poignantly than before with Richie standing in front of him. Richie turned to smile at the three of them, but his smile dropped as his eyes met Eddie’s. They were even bluer in the daylight, and Eddie felt like he’d been punched in the chest. The most predominant emotion Eddie was feeling was want, followed immediately by fear of that want.

“I’m not harassing, I’m helping!” Bev insisted. “I’m Beverly by the way,” she said to Bill, Ben, and Eddie.

“I’m Ben, and this is Bill and Eddie,” Ben introduced. Eddie forced his eyes away from Richie’s in order to smile politely at Beverly. Her eyes lingered on him for a moment before lighting up. She shared a brief look with Richie, and though Eddie couldn’t have missed it, he also had no idea what it meant.

“This is StanandMike, one word,” Richie cut it in, making Stan roll his eyes and Mike grin.

“How about you?” Eddie heard himself ask, repeating Richie’s words from the night before back to him: “Do you have a name?” Richie looked taken aback for a moment before a beaming smile spread across his face. Eddie felt weirdly proud of himself for both of those reactions.

“Yeah, but you gotta guess it or else I get your firstborn child,” Richie joked.

 “What do I get if I guess it right?” Eddie asked, once again surprising himself. Richie’s expression changed at that, and Eddie felt his pulse pick up pace; it was very similar to the look he’d given him the night before on the dancefloor, but even more intense.

“What do you want?” he asked, and yeah, Eddie was screwed, and he almost wanted to cry because that was undeniably the sexiest thing he’d ever seen or heard, and he had no idea how to handle it.

“His name is Richie,” Mike cut in, saving Eddie from having to come up with a response. Which was fortunate, because that question floored him; he had no idea what he wanted. He wanted Richie, but he didn’t want to want him. He tried to look away, but his eyes kept finding their way to Richie like magnets.

“So you’re headed to Old Havana?” Beverly asked.

“W-w-we’re t-trying,” Bill answered with a small smile. Eddie figured he must find this girl pretty gorgeous, as his stutter was never that bad anymore. It was obvious that she was beautiful, but Eddie had never understood feeling nervous around pretty girls before. However, looking at Richie, he thought he might be starting to get it.

“Classic,” Mike grinned. “It’s beautiful.”

“We can take you there if you want,” Beverly offered, her eyes flitting between the three boys. _We?_ Eddie thought.

“That’d be great, thanks!” Ben said before Eddie could object.

“How far away are we?” Eddie asked.

“Like, 20 minutes?” Bev estimated, folding the map up. She slid it into the back pocket of her jeans, and Eddie saw the glint of laughter in her eyes as Ben and Bill pointedly avoided following that path with their gazes. She and Eddie shared a small smile at that, and she threw him a wink. “You know, Eddie, you look familiar. How long have you been in town?”

“Just since yesterday,” he answered, blushing and figuring she knew what had happened between him and Richie; if she didn’t see it herself, Richie had probably given her the Spark Notes. “I saw your show last night, you guys were great.” Beverly put a hand to her chest and batted her eyelashes.

“Aw, always happy to meet a fan!”

“And by that she means ‘thank you,’” Stan grinned.

“Wait, you guys are in the band Eddie was talking about?” Ben asked.

“All good reviews I hope?” Mike grinned.

“I don’t know,” Bev cut in, “Richie’s performance was a little shaky.” Stan snorted. Beverly winked at Eddie again, who blushed when he realized what she meant. So yeah, she knew, and Stan and Mike apparently did as well. Didn’t mean Bill and Ben had to. Eddie avoided Richie’s eye, embarrassed and not looking to address the night before head on.

“How long are you staying?” Mike asked, allowing Eddie to breathe. Eddie had a feeling Mike could sense his discomfort, as he’d bailed him out of awkward non-replies twice in under two minutes.

“We f-fuh-fly back Sunday m-morning,” Bill said.

“What’re your plans for the week?” Beverly asked, walking backward so that she could lock eyes with the boys while they talked.

“I r-really wuh-wanna see the H-Hemingway house,” Bill answered. Eddie swore he could see hearts floating above his head, and Beverly seemed to be on a similar page as she returned his gaze.

“Good choice, that place looks sick,” Richie said from behind Eddie, making him jump.

“Have y-you ever been?” Bill asked.

“Nah, we’ve only been in town for a little over six months,” Richie explained, “but I’ve been meaning to go.”

“You a lit nerd?” Bev asked, her voice teasing yet playful.

“Guilty,” Bill smiled shyly.

“How dreamy,” Bev sighed. Bill blushed furiously at that. “How ‘bout you?” she asked Ben. “What are your plans?”

“I’m honestly just really excited to see all of the architecture,” Ben gushed excitedly, leading them into a conversation about art and math, which Stan eagerly joined. Bill and Mike started a conversation about the history of the city, and as much as Eddie wanted to be interested, he had nothing to contribute to the conversation, which left Eddie and Richie.

“Hey,” Richie said, gently pulling Eddie aside, “I’m sorry for last night, I shouldn’t have come onto you like that. It was super creepy and uncalled for, so I’m sorry.” Eddie’s chest seized, his muscles like a vice around his lungs.

“No, it’s fine, you-” he began, cutting himself off. “Thanks,” he mumbled, looking away. “I’m sorry I ran out like that,” he added after a moment.

“You’re good,” Richie assured him with a comforting grin. “I get that all this can be a lot to handle.” He gestured to his body, smirking proudly. Eddie rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but smile. _You have no idea._ They caught up with the rest of the group, never straying from each other’s side.


	3. I Wanna Hold You When I'm Not Supposed To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Back to You" by Selena Gomez.  
> honorable mention to some lyrics from "Dress" by Taylor Swift that were almost this chapter's title: "Our secret moments in a crowded room" and "All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains some emotional abuse/manipulation. I drew very heavily from my own experiences (especially in regards to Eddie's reaction), but I tried to keep it at a similar caliber as in the book.
> 
> also sorry this took so long, I've been crazy busy lol

Eddie did his best to contribute to the conversation, but every so often Richie’s hand would brush against his own and his brain would short-circuit. He considered casually moving through the group to separate himself from Richie, but he loved the rush he felt just from being beside him. His mind inevitably wandered to thoughts of what it would feel like to touch him again, and then Eddie was zoned out again until he pulled himself out of his thoughts or someone said his name. The beautiful scenery and architecture before them as they entered the heart of the city was barely enough to pull him from his thoughts.

That was until he saw possibly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

The car caught his eye immediately, a pink and white 1958 Ford Fairlane. He was drawn to it immediately and walked over to where it was parked without a thought. He knew Havana was famous for its vintage cars, and it was the aspect of the trip he was the most excited about. Though Eddie was pre-med, he was a mechanical engineering minor, and he had been obsessed with cars since he was a kid. He resisted the urge to run his hand along the car as he approached it, admiring it as closely as he dared. “Bill, check this out!” he exclaimed, but when he turned around only Richie was behind him with an undecipherable grin on his face. “Where’s everyone else?” Eddie asked, looking around the crowded area.

“No one saw you leave,” Richie explained. “You walked away without saying anything. I barely noticed, and you were right next to me.”

Eddie smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I got distracted,” he said. His eyes couldn’t pick between Richie and the car; both were so gorgeous. However, with that realization, the continuous eye contact made Eddie flush and return his attention to the car.

“You like cars?” Richie asked.

“Yeah, I love them,” Eddie gushed. “I’ve always loved working on them. I wanted to be a mechanic for most of my life, actually.”

“What happened?”

The question made Eddie pause, the memories of a conversation his pharmacist had had with him five years ago pulling at him like weights strapped to his ankles. _You’re not sick_ , Eddie could hear him say. _You’re going to college soon, you’re going to be an adult. You deserve to know the truth._

“I changed my mind. I want to be a doctor,” he explained. “But I still love cars, and I’m a mechanical engineering minor.”

“You’re in med school and you have an engineering minor?” Richie asked incredulously. Eddie raised his eyes to find Richie beaming. “That’s insane! How smart are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m not in med school yet,” Eddie said humbly, circling around the car. “I need to take a couple years off once I graduate in May to save up. I’ll probably work in an auto shop if I can, actually.”  

“Well this is nothing,” Richie said. “You should see the capitol building, there’s usually a ton of cars like this there. Are you going on one of the car tours this week?”

“Tuesday,” Eddie nodded, his excitement making him buzz.

“You’ll love it,” Richie said, his voice soft and genuine in a way that made Eddie’s heart flutter. They shared a silent smile before Richie said, “C’mon, we should try to catch up.”

“Have you been on one of the car tours? Or is that too tourist-y for you?” Eddie asked with a playful grin as they began walking.

“Alas, I have,” Richie admitted. “I don’t know shit about cars, though. Although I do have a pretty sweet ride myself.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ve got this beautiful 2002 Mazda protégé,” he boasted, making Eddie giggle. “It’s got cherry red paint that’s chipping off in like six different places, it’s a real hot ride. You should come take a spin in it some time.” He winked, making Eddie blush.

“Wow, what an offer,” he replied sarcastically.

“Hey, I’m a musician, I’m lucky I have a car at all,” he defended himself, making Eddie laugh again.

“So how’d you get into music?” Eddie asked, eager to know more about Richie. He shrugged.

“I always really liked listening to music and going to concerts and dancing and stuff, and I can’t play sports for shit, so my parents finally signed me up for guitar lessons when I was like eleven after the death of my soccer career.” He grinned reminiscently, his eyes soft and distant and beautiful. Eddie melted at the story.

“Why’d you guys come to Havana?” he asked. “Or are you from here?”

“Nah I’m from Maine,” Richie said.

“Same!”

“For real?”

“Yeah, Bangor! You?”

“Derry,” Richie said, “same with Bev, Stan, and Mike. We all knew we wanted to get out, small town and all that, so we decided to live in a different city each year. We were in LA last year since we were in the area after we graduated, and we moved to Havana because it’s warm and pretty gay-friendly, so it seemed like a good choice.”

“That seems annoying for taxes,” Eddie remarked, making Richie bark a laugh. It was a sound that Eddie could get used to.

It took a couple phone calls and some waving arms, but the two eventually found their way back to their friends. However, as excited as Eddie was to be rejoining his friends, he also felt himself pulling back; he really liked talking to Richie, and he felt like he could spend hours alone with him. Something about his goofy jokes and loud yet endearing laugh drew Eddie in even deeper than his voice or his eyes already had, and he didn’t want to see him go.

“Wait,” Richie said abruptly before they met up with their friends. Eddie turned to face him, his heart in his throat as he looked up at Richie expectantly. Richie’s eyes flickered between Eddie’s, and the latter was surprised to find that Richie looked like he was hesitating. “There’s a club I wanna take you to.” Eddie blamed the ascending sun for the swoon he suppressed.

“Okay,” he replied quietly with a tentative smile. “When and where?”

“I can text you the details?” Richie grinned, his voice hopeful and far less confident than before. Eddie smirked.

“Are you asking me for my number?”

“Would you give it to me if I were?”

Eddie tried and failed to hide his smile as he held his hand out for Richie’s phone. He put his number in with the blushing smiley face emoji next to his name. “Text me whenever,” he said, feeling emboldened by their walk and conversation. Bill, Ben, Bev, Stan, and Mike bounded up to them right as Eddie was handing Richie his phone back. Eddie felt Bill’s eyes on him, moving between him and Richie, and he saw Beverly throw Richie a confused grin, but Eddie ignored them both.

“You get lost, Rich?” Bev teased.

“It was my fault,” Eddie explained, smiling apologetically. “I got distracted by a cool car and wandered off.”

“And I am a devout follower of the buddy system,” Richie added proudly as he slung an arm around Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie tried to look annoyed, as Bill and Ben were looking at him curiously, but he couldn’t have been more pleased with the fact that Richie was touching him, even if in such a casual way. “You guys have any plans tonight?” Richie asked. Bill, Ben, and Eddie looked around at each other.

“W-we were gonna try to find a c-club or bar or s-something to go to,” Bill answered, “but we don’t have a-any specific one in m-mind.”

“Fantastic,” Richie grinned, “I’ll text Eddie the details, and we’ll see you guys tonight.” He removed his arm from Eddie’s shoulder and began walking away; Eddie was embarrassed that he missed the contact immediately.

“It’s been lovely being your tour guide,” Beverly grinned, tucking herself against Richie’s other side. “See ya later!”

“Sorry for them,” Stan said as the pair skipped away.

“All good,” Ben grinned, staring not at all subtly after Beverly.

“It was nice meeting you guys,” Stan said.

“Yeah, y-you too,” Bill grinned.

“So will we actually see you tonight?” Mike asked. Eddie was happy to see that Bill and Ben seemed as enthused as he was as the three of them all nodded.

“Definitely,” Eddie said. Mike and Stan shared a smile.

“See you tonight, then.”

“See ya!” The trio watched them walk away, Ben and Bill both watching Beverly walk away as Eddie watched Richie.

 

Eddie received a text from an unknown number a couple hours later as he, Bill, and Ben ate lunch. It contained an address and time. There was also a winking emoji at the end. Eddie grinned and saved the number as Richie. _See you there,_ he sent back with a thumbs up emoji.

“What are you smiling at?” Ben asked playfully.

“Oh, um, Richie texted me the address for tonight,” Eddie answered, hating that he was already blushing.

“How’d he get your number?” Bill asked.

“I gave it to him,” Eddie shrugged, trying not to sound defensive.

“They all seem really cool,” Ben said. “And it’s so nice of them to show us around!” Eddie was about to agree when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. His heart swelled, but soon fell when he realized that it was from Myra, not Richie. _Don’t forget to take your pills!_ Eddie rolled his eyes. Something about the heart emoji she included made his stomach not sit right. Eddie eyed his bag, knowing his lunch time pills were in there. Almost every instinct he had told him to take them. Myra’s voice in his head told him to take them. His dead mother’s voice told him to take them.

 _Fuck it_ , he thought, just barely holding back from kicking the bag.

The conversation had moved on to another topic, and the boys finished their meals. Eddie could hear the pills rattle as he slung his bag over his shoulder. He resolved to shove them to the bottom of his suitcase once they got back to the hotel and leave them there for the rest of the trip.

 

*       *       *

 

Eddie felt like he should’ve been exhausted after walking around all day, but even after all that and dinner the small act of rebellion he had committed by refusing to take his pills had revitalized him. The anticipation of seeing Richie again also electrified and energizes him, and the few minutes he spent alone with Richie had him longing for more. Once again, he fussed over his outfit. He was still winter pale, so he chose a pink button down that brought out the color in his cheeks. He paired it with medium wash high-waisted jean shorts that he cuffed to hang halfway down his thighs. Eddie had been told he looked gay all throughout his life; it had always made his skin itch, but looking in the bathroom mirror he giggled to himself. _I really do look like a cliché twink, don’t I?_ he thought to himself, amused and giddy. _Good_. It was a little overwhelming, realizing who he was so suddenly, especially when it had been right in front of him for so long, but Eddie also found it kind of funny that it took him so long to realize. Admittedly, he was a little scared, but he’d never been as excited to see someone as he was to see Richie that night. _This must be what a crush feels like_. He supposed he must have had crushes in the past that he simply refused to acknowledge, or didn’t recognize as crushes; it was such a new and amazing thing to finally be able to address what he was feeling.

He was practically bouncing as the three of them walked to the club. The air was still warm despite the sun having long set, and it felt like a gentle hug on Eddie’s skin. He breathed it in, the new sights and smells invigorating him. “I’m so happy we’re taking this trip, guys,” he beamed, missing the confused smiles Bill and Ben shot each other. He felt like he was walking on air.

Eddie’s breath caught when they stepped into the club. There were vintage cars and motorcycles everywhere, and even a vintage airplane hanging from the ceiling. He was so busy ogling the décor that he didn’t see Richie approach until he was right in front of him. “You like it?” he heard Richie’s smooth voice ask. He was smiling down at Eddie and holding a drink out to him, his own in his other hand. Eddie took the drink and smiled shyly up at Richie through his eyelashes.

“It’s amazing,” he breathed, but his eyes stayed on Richie’s, and he didn’t think he was talking about the club anymore.

Bev came up from behind Richie, which was good because Ben and Bill were sharing another confused look behind Eddie’s back at the interaction between him and Richie, and Eddie was only growing more and more oblivious to anything and anyone that wasn’t Richie. “Hey, you made it!” she greeted excitedly. “Mike and Stan are holding our table.” She led all of them to a circular table near the dancefloor. It definitely wasn’t made to sit seven, but they’d squeezed seven chairs around it nonetheless. Eddie and Richie were already practically joined at the hip, so they sat next to each other. Richie threw one arm around Eddie’s chair and sipped his drink with his other hand. Bill made sure to take the seat on Eddie’s other side. Bev slotted herself between Bill and Ben. Ben exchanged friendly hellos with Mike, who sat on his other side, and Stan, who sat between Mike and Richie.

The conversation flowed easily between the seven of them, and Ben and Bill were soon too caught up in Beverly to be curious about Eddie and Richie (though Bill was still happy to be by Eddie’s side). Eddie took advantage of this and turned completely to face Richie. He had his chin in his hand and everything. He’d only had the one drink Richie gave him, so he wasn’t at all drunk, but he was glad to have the alcohol as a fallback excuse as he leaned in further toward Richie. Richie had finished his drink as well and was telling a story from when he was in college. While his right hand was gesturing wildly, his left was resting on Eddie’s back, occasionally rubbing his thumb against the fabric of Eddie’s shirt. Eddie practically preened under the attention, giggling maybe a little more than he should at the story, and most definitely batting his eyelashes more than he needed to. Eddie had never acted this way around anyone before; he loved it. He loved how Richie’s hand almost covered his entire lower back. He loved watching Richie’s lips as he talked. He loved the way Richie would occasionally push his glasses back up his nose. He loved that he could smell the cologne Richie was wearing.

“Richie!” Bev exclaimed suddenly, making both Eddie and Richie jump apart. “You have to dance with me to this,” Bev insisted as she stood from the table. Richie grinned easily at her and stood up.

“Anything for you,” he said, taking her hand and letting her lead him to the dancefloor. Eddie missed having Richie next to him, but any complaint in his mind died as Richie and Bev started dancing. The song was a salsa, a dance the pair apparently knew very well. They spun each other around and stepped to the music almost expertly, smiling at each other the whole time. Richie playfully dipped Bev at one point, making her laugh before they returned to dancing more seriously.

“They’re incredible,” Ben said, his voice soft with awe.

“They’re show offs,” Mike scoffed fondly. “But yeah, they’re pretty good, can’t lie.”

Eddie tried not to lose sight of them as more people flooded the dancefloor. He was entranced by the way the two moved together, so smoothly it seemed effortless. Richie picked Beverly up at one point and spun her around, making her throw her head back and laugh again. Richie beamed up at her. Eddie was taken aback by how beautiful they both were.

Eventually the music faded into something slower. “Oh god,” Stan muttered. “I’m gonna need another drink.” Mike chuckled as his boyfriend headed over to the bar.

“W-what does he m-mean?” Bill asked.

“Watch,” Mike said, nodding toward Bev and Richie. “Or don’t, on second thought it might scar you.” Obviously that piqued the trio’s curiosity, and they all looked back to the dancefloor to see Bev and Richie dancing together in a way that was downright sinful. They were more dancing _against_ than with each other, yet their bodies still flowed together like water.

“Oh, wow,” Ben muttered as Bev turned in Richie’s arms and rolled her hips back into his, her hands reaching behind her and tangling in his curls. Eddie desperately wished those were his hands in Richie’s hair.

“W-where did th-they l-luh-learn to d-do th-thuh-that?” Bill asked. Eddie would’ve made fun him for how obviously turned on he was if he wasn’t just as turned on himself.

“College,” Mike shrugged.

“They dance really well together,” Ben said, his cheeks pink. Mike smirked.

“Yeah, they’ve been dance partners since we were like, nine. And they hooked up a lot in high school, and a little bit in our first couple years of college, so they know each other pretty well.”

Eddie followed Richie’s hands as they ran down Beverly’s sides. Suddenly Bev bent forward and planted her hands on the floor. Richie’s hands gripped her hips in a way that made Eddie’s breath catch. His eyes flew up to Richie’s, which were trained on him. Eddie’s jaw dropped slightly, making Richie smirk. _Oh god,_ Eddie thought, closing his mouth and crossing his legs to will away the boner that threatened to pop in his shorts. Bev slowly stood back up and leaned back into Richie. Richie brought his lips to Bev’s neck, his eyes hooded as they remained locked on Eddie’s. His look was teasing, inviting, almost predatory, and Eddie felt like his skin was on fire. Bev giggled at the kiss and shoved Richie off her playfully, breaking the tension that had built. Eddie felt Bill let a breath go at the same time as he did as Richie and Bev broke away and smiled at each other, easily sliding back into their roles as the other’s best friend.

Eddie fiddled with his empty glass as Richie and Bev walked back to the table, unable to meet Richie’s blazing blue eyes. Bev was enthusiastically pulling a hesitant and blushing Bill and Ben onto the dancefloor as soon as she reached the table. Stan and Mike shared a wordless exchange and left for the dancefloor as well. Eddie felt Richie’s hands on his shoulders, his mind flooded with the scent of Richie that surrounded him. “If I ask you to dance, are you gonna run out on me again?” his deep voice asked in Eddie’s ear. His breath cascaded down Eddie’s neck, making him shiver. Eddie craned his neck to face Richie, finding his face to be much closer to his than he’d expected. All Eddie could do was shake his head. Richie grinned and stood up straight. “Well then let’s go, Cinderella,” he grinned, taking Eddie by the hand and leading him to the dancefloor, just as he’d done the night before. Eddie followed him happily as they joined the other five. Bev was dancing wildly yet still skillfully, and she was goading Ben and Bill into letting loose. Eddie giggled at the sight; neither of them were big dancers. Stan and Mike’s dancing was a bit more toned down, but they were still clearly enjoying themselves.

Richie turned Eddie to face him. “I still don’t know how to dance,” Eddie warned him, but he was smiling this time.

“Guess I’ll just have to teach you then,” Richie grinned before he began gracelessly jumping to the now up-tempo music. Eddie giggled.

“You know, I didn’t know you could actually dance,” he said.

“I can do a lot of things you don’t know about,” Richie said with a small smirk. Eddie’s skin went hot all over again as he tried his best not to imagine what Richie meant by that; he’d avoided one boner that night, he wasn’t sure he could fend off another.

And yet, his mouth betrayed his dick as he said, “Sounds like you’ve got a lot to show me.” Richie’s eyes became slightly shadowed once again, making Eddie’s heart race. He could feel the air in the room become heavier, could feel his blood in his veins as Richie looked him up and down.

“Let’s start with dancing,” Richie said then, his easy smile breaking the tension. Eddie nodded. “Okay, so the first thing you need to do is loosen the fuck up,” he chuckled. Eddie made an indignant noise.

“I’m plenty loose!” he insisted. Richie laughed harder than Eddie thought was necessary. “Okay, so I’m a little high strung, but it’s not _that_ funny,” he huffed, crossing his arms. Richie looked at him almost unbelievingly.

“Eds, that’s not the implication of that sentence that I’m laughing at,” he said, catching his breath. It took Eddie another moment to catch on, and when he did his face went beet red.

“Okay, first of all, you’re gross, and second of all I’m so not loose in that sense, I’m like, as tight as possible, okay?” At this point Richie was dying laughing, doubled over with one hand on his stomach and one on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie was annoyed that he once again had no control over the conversation. He gripped Richie’s chin, forcing him to look at him. “Weren’t you just saying something about wanting to change that?” he said in a voice he’d never heard from himself before. It was sweet, but definitely still in control, and it felt amazing to use, especially when Richie stopped laughing and looked at him with wide eyes. He stood up, once again towering over Eddie, but Eddie still felt pretty proud of himself. He quirked an eyebrow at Richie. “You gonna loosen me up?”

“Jesus Christ, go easy on a guy,” Richie said. He tried to laugh, but his eyes were looking at Eddie hungrily. “You trying to get me to pop a boner in public?”

“Maybe,” Eddie smirked. Richie’s wide-eyed desperation slowly melted into a subtle smirk. Suddenly he pulled Eddie in by the hips so that their bodies were pressed flush together.

“You know two people can play this game, right?” he rasped in Eddie’s ear. “I saw you watching me with Bev earlier, I saw you watching my hands.” He squeezed Eddie’s hips for emphasis before adding, “I saw you watching my lips on her neck.” His lips grazed over Eddie’s ear ever so slightly. “Did you wish it was you?” Eddie felt his knees going weak, and he gripped Richie’s shoulders for support.

“God, yes,” Eddie whispered. “I wanted it to be me so bad.” Richie took a breath, but Eddie pushed him back gently before he could start talking again. “But I...” he began, making himself look into Richie’s confused eyes. “I wasn’t lying last night, about having a girlfriend.” Richie nodded, the blaze in his eyes calming down, his edges softening. His grip loosened, but he kept his hands gently on Eddie’s hips.

“But you think you might’ve been lying about not being gay?” Richie supplied. Eddie nodded, unsure how he felt about how easily Richie understood the things he didn’t say out loud. Richie rubbed his hand comfortingly up and down Eddie’s side. “It’s okay not to know,” he said softly. Eddie gave him a small smile.

“You make me pretty sure,” he whispered, his eyes falling to Richie’s lips automatically. Richie’s eyes seemed conflicted when Eddie looked back up into them. “Wanna start with dancing?” he suggested with a nervous smile. Richie nodded, returning the smile.

The music stayed up-beat for a while, so Eddie and Richie jumped around wildly and giggled together, calling it dancing. However, like the previous night, the music slowed to something more sensual again. Eddie and Richie locked eyes, both of their chests rising and falling from their jumping and laughter. Richie had a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He ran his hand through his dark curls, and that pretty much set Eddie off. He stepped even closer, so close that he could feel Richie’s breath on his face. “Teach me,” he said quietly, sliding his hands up Richie’s chest to rest on his shoulders. Richie’s hands found their way to Eddie’s waist and lay there, guiding Eddie’s movements to match his. Their fronts were just barely separated, and Eddie was honestly proud that he didn’t just start front grinding on Richie right then and there. He experimentally ran the tips of his fingers into the damp curls at the nape of Richie’s neck. Richie’s hands slid from Eddie’s waist down to his hips. Eddie’s heart pounded in his ears as he had the sudden thought, _I want his hands even lower_. Eddie couldn’t tell who leaned in first, but the tips of their noses were brushing, and all Eddie could process was _Richie_.

Which was an unfortunate hindrance to his observation skills, as both Eddie and Richie jumped apart when Bill placed a hand on each of their shoulders. “Richie, you wanna go grab another round with me?” Bill asked. Richie nodded, giving him a nervous grin.

“It’d be my pleasure, Billy Boy.” Bill grinned at the nickname, which made Eddie’s heart feel a little less like it was trying to hack its way out of his chest with an ice pick. Bill ushered Richie ahead of him and threw Eddie a look. Over their fifteen or so years of friendship, Eddie had learned to decipher Bill’s looks. Eddie didn’t know exactly what Bill was thinking, but his face said _we need to talk about this_. Thankfully, he only seemed concerned, and confused, not angry or disgusted.

Eddie tried to steady his breathing and act casual as he joined the other four who were still dancing. It actually really genuinely calmed him down; everyone was having a good time, and it was infectious. Beverly was also set on getting Eddie to dance with her, and he indulged her, letting her twirl him around as the five of them laughed together.

Eventually they all made their way back to the table where Bill and Richie were sitting next to each other, talking with their faces close together. Eddie’s heart started up again as they both turned to look at him as he approached. Bill stood up from the chair and leaned into tell Eddie something. “I’m going to the bathroom, I got you some water.” Not what Eddie was expecting, but he thanked Bill and watched him for a moment as he headed for the bathrooms. He took his seat next to Richie and smiled at him.

“Were you two talking about me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Richie replied, waggling his eyebrows. Eddie giggled, barely noticing that he was already leaning in towards Richie again.

“All good things I hope,” he said, lowering his voice. He put his hand on Richie’s thigh under the table. Richie stiffened, his expression unreadable. Before Eddie could think of something else to say or do, his phone started buzzing obnoxiously on the table. He repressed a groan when he saw it was Myra calling.

“It’s been ringing for a while,” Richie said, his voice strangely soft.

“I’ll be right back,” Eddie muttered, taking his phone and heading outside. He missed that call, but she called again about five seconds later. In those five seconds, Eddie saw that he had eight missed calls from her and at least six or seven texts.

He picked up once he was far enough away from the entrance. Despite how annoyed he was by the call, he still picked up with his usual sweet, “Hey.”

“Eddie!” Myra cried on the other end of the line, sounding hysteric. “Eddie, why haven’t you been picking up? I’ve been so worried!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he said softly. “I’m just out with Ben and Bill, that’s all. I’m fine.” He hated that he couldn’t be harsh or even a little biting with her.

“You weren’t answering my texts, I thought something happened to you. You can’t do this to me, Eddie, it’s not fair. You can’t just leave me here to worry about you, no clue where you are or what you’re doing. It was cruel of you to leave me alone, I can’t stop thinking about all of the horrible things that could be happening to you.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said, struggling to mask the sound of his clenched jaw.

“Are you at least taking your pills? You need to take them.”

“Yes,” he said, feeling himself turn to stone as the lie rolled off his tongue easily.

“Oh, Eddie, I hate it when you’re not here, can’t you come home? I’m no good at being without you, I can’t do it.”

“You’ll be fine,” he told her in a reassuring voice. “I’ll be home before you know it. But for now I have to go, okay? Bill and Ben are waiting for me inside.”

“Inside where?”

“Inside the hotel room.” The lies tasted somewhat bitter on his tongue, but they came easily. “We’re going to bed soon, you should too, okay?”

“Okay,” Myra agreed after a moment of hesitation. “I’m glad you’re not staying out late.” Eddie took a deep breath.

“Goodnight,” he said, barely waiting to hear her parting words before hanging up. His body was rigid, and it began to tremble as tears of frustration rolled down his cheeks. _Two days_ , he thought to himself. _I’m gone two days and she’s already trying to get me to go back_. He scrolled through the texts, which weren’t any better than the phone call. They all told him how worried she was, how fragile he was, how cruel and selfish he was for not responding after two minutes. They made Eddie’s blood boil.

“Eddie?” He jumped at the voice, spinning around to see Richie a foot or two away. Eddie wiped furiously at the tears on his cheeks, willing the ones in his eyes not to fall. “Are you okay?” he asked, coming closer. His hands lifted up a bit at his sides, but he didn’t touch Eddie.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Eddie nodded, forcing himself to smile. However, the longer he looked at Richie the less forced it felt.

“Was that Myra?” he asked. Eddie’s smile fell.

“How do you know her name?” he asked suspiciously.

“Caller ID,” Richie explained. “Also… Eddie, I-I saw the texts she sent you-”

“You went through my texts?” Eddie practically screeched.

“Listen I didn’t mean to, but your phone kept going off, and the screen was facing up, so I figured I’d check to see if it was an emergency… I know I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t look away, it was like a fucking car crash-”

“My girlfriend is not a car crash,” Eddie said venomously. He didn’t really give a shit if someone called Myra a car crash – honestly, she kind of was. But he was embarrassed and angry, which made him defensive. He was also hurt; he didn’t want Richie thinking _he_ was a car crash.

“Eds, fuck, I didn’t mean it like that,” Richie said.

“Don’t call me that.” But the nickname had the fire dying from his words; it made him weak in the knees, like it was something special just between the two of them.

“Eddie,” Richie began softly, “listen, I know it’s not my place, but the shit she was saying to you… It’s messed up.” Eddie breathed heavily through his nose his arms still crossed as his anger faded to confusion. Richie must have noticed, because he kept going. “You shouldn’t have to answer to your girlfriend. Your partner’s not supposed to control you, they’re supposed to support you. And yeah, obviously you’re gonna worry about someone you love, but that? That’s not worrying, that’s freaking out because she doesn’t have as much power over you since you’re away.”

“I don’t,” Eddie blurted.

“What?”

Eddie forced himself to look into Richie’s searching eyes. “I don’t love her,” he stated simply, almost clinically. “I don’t know if I ever have.” He felt a weight rise off his shoulders at the admission. He didn’t love her. He wasn’t in love with his girlfriend, he never was, and someone else finally knew. “Shit, I’m sorry, that was heavy,” Eddie said when Richie didn’t say anything, trying to huff a laugh to clear the air.

“No, I’m glad you told someone,” Richie said. Then, gentler, “I’m glad you told me.” Eddie smiled softly at him, but it fell as he realized what Richie had been implying about how Myra treated him. It wasn’t fair to Eddie, it wasn’t _healthy_ , and the realization of how true that was was a shock to Eddie’s system. She was controlling, and manipulative, and even if she did love him it was selfishly.

Although, when he gave it some thought, he realized he’d already known that. He’d just ignored it. He couldn’t explain why he’d ignored it, but he had. Maybe it was because there wasn’t a singular moment of realization, but rather an amalgamation of small things, a growing chain of sinking feelings in Eddie’s chest. The thought occurred to him that he should be more upset, as all of the feelings and suspicions he’d had over the past few years were rising to the surface, but he felt strangely freed by the realization; it assuaged so much of the guilt he felt for not loving her back. He’d felt the anger already, had been feeling it for a while; he was eager to be done with it, to move past it. He was sick of feeling trapped and felt it was time he start taking control of his own life. “Are you okay?” Richie asked again, pulling Eddie out of his thoughts. Eddie’s eyes connected with Richie’s and then fell to his lips. His heart hammered in his chest. In a moment of clarity, he knew exactly what he wanted.

“I wanna kiss you,” he whispered.

“Are you sure?” Richie asked, his voice soft and low. “You seem pretty upset, I don’t want you to do something you’re gonna regret.”

“I’m sure,” Eddie replied, looking into Richie’s eyes determinedly. _I wanna kiss someone I actually like, someone I’m actually into. I’ve never done that before,_ he thought to himself.

“Listen, Eds, you’ve been driving me crazy all day. I couldn’t get you off my mind last night. You’re gorgeous, and I really like talking to you, and I want more than anything to kiss you senseless right now,” Richie admitted, chuckling lowly, almost nervously. “But I wanna make sure you’ve thought this through.”

“I’m so fucking tired of thinking,” Eddie sighed, standing on his tip toes as he cradled Richie’s face in his hands and guided his face down to his own.

Somehow Richie seemed surprised, and it took him a moment to respond. But he quickly fixed that, his arms winding around Eddie’s waist and pulling him closer. His lips pressed back against Eddie’s, and Eddie almost whimpered at how good it was. _This is what it’s supposed to feel like_ , he thought. His head felt light with the realization; he slid his fingers back into Richie’s curls, anchoring himself as he deepened the kiss. Richie’s lips were soft, but his kiss was firm and purposeful, his movements languid and smooth. Eddie felt like he was floating. Kissing Richie was everything kissing was supposed to be: passionate and intense, yet soft and sweet, all at the same time. Eddie actually did let out a whine when Richie pulled away. Richie chuckled at the noise, pulling back so he could cradle Eddie’s face in one of his hands. Eddie leaned into his touch as he ran his thumb reverently over Eddie’s cheekbone.

“That was amazing,” Eddie said quietly, sincerely.

“Careful, that’ll definitely go to my head,” Richie joked. But his eyes were soft, as were his lips as he pressed them chastely to Eddie’s again. “Wow,” he breathed, a smile on his lips and a look of wonder in his eyes.

“What?” Eddie asked.

“Just… you,” Richie said, kissing one of Eddie’s cheeks. “You’re amazing.” He kissed Eddie’s other cheek, making him giggle.

“Careful,” Eddie echoed, “that’ll definitely go to my head.”

“Good, I want it to,” Richie replied. He kissed Eddie’s deeply, which caught Eddie off guard and took his breath away. “You deserve to know how beautiful you are. I couldn’t stop thinking about your lips,” Richie said, tracing his thumb lightly over Eddie’s lower lip. His eyes flickered from Eddie’s mouth to his eyes, holding his heated gaze. “That ass,” he smirked. Eddie smiled innocently up at him as he guided the hand on his waist down to his ass. Richie chuckled, pulling away. “God, we’re in public, you’re gonna kill me.” Eddie laughed lightly at that, gripping the collar of Richie’s shirt and pulling him in for another kiss.

“Let’s go somewhere,” he whispered against his lips.

“Where did you have in mind?” Richie asked between kisses, amusement in his voice, but also interest.

“How about somewhere private?”

Richie groaned. “Baby, there’s nothing I want more than to whisk you off to my apartment and spend the night with you,” he said, the pet name making Eddie’s heart flutter, “but I don’t think your friends would appreciate that.” Now it was Eddie’s turn to groan.

“I hate that you’re right.”

“Yeah, Bill seems a little protective of you,” he chuckled. “It’s pretty cute.”

“Did he say something to you when you went to get drinks?” Eddie asked, an amused grin tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Not directly, but the message was clear.” Eddie laughed at that, which made Richie’s smile spread even wider across his face. “Speaking of that, we should probably head back inside. I don’t want them to think I’m defiling you.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you, though?” he teased.

“Oh, sweetheart, you haven’t even seen anything yet,” he grinned easily. It was a joke, but it still made Eddie shiver. And it definitely didn’t make him want to go back inside. So he instead pulled Richie in again, their lips moving together perfectly, like they were fit for one another. Unsurprisingly, Richie was the first to pull away. “Okay, I fucking love that, but we should seriously go inside.” He kissed away Eddie’s pout. “We can continue this soon, okay? Maybe even tomorrow?” he asked in a soft voice.

“I’d like that,” Eddie grinned, letting Richie lead him back inside. He ached to feel Richie’s lips on his again, but for now he enjoyed the feeling of Richie’s hand resting on the small of his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is always appreciated, both positive and constructive (:


	4. Do the Girls Back Home Touch You Like I Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Bill is Jennifer Garner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from "Delicate" by Taylor Swift (listen, one day I'll name a chapter/fic after something other than a top 40 song, but today is not that day lmao)

While Eddie and Richie had parted without another kiss, they made sure to promise they’d see each other again. Eddie was currently sitting in bed, absentmindedly scrolling through Instagram and resisting the urge to text Richie. There was a part of him that wanted to ask Richie to come pick him up right then and there. The memory of Richie’s lips on his had him smiling slightly and staring dazedly at the wall.

“Eddie?” Bill asked softly, the first noise to fill the silence other than the white noise of running water as Ben showered. Eddie jumped slightly before turning to Bill.

“Yeah?”

“A-are you okay?” he asked, genuine concern in his voice. Eddie’s heart struggled to beat; he knew this conversation was coming, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to have it.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied with false ease. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just… I s-saw wh-what Myra texted you, and how many t-times she called you, and I just w-wanted to make s-sure you’re good. I know she can be a l-lot.” He smiled softly, almost apologetically. Eddie shrugged.

“It was fine, just normal Myra stuff.” Bill nodded silently and went back to the book he was reading. The tension released from Eddie’s shoulders after a few moments of silence. _Thank god he didn’t ask about Richie_.

“I think you should fuck Richie.”

Eddie choked on nothing, the statement seemingly coming out of nowhere. “What?” he squeaked. He whirled around to face Bill but found he couldn’t look him in the eye.

“If you w-want to, that is,” he added. “And I mean, I don’t wanna be t-too forward, b-but it really seemed like you wanted to.”

“I-I, I have a girlfriend!” Eddie whisper yelled, unable to bring himself to say her name in that moment. Bill gave Eddie an unimpressed, yet somehow also sympathetic look.

“Eddie, she’s horrible to you. I know it’s your relationship, and I’ve tried not to meddle in it too much, but I’ve never seen you act the way you act around Richie. You look so… so _happy_ with him, in a way I’ve definitely never seen you around Myra.” Eddie’s heart was beating ridiculously fast, and he almost felt like he needed his inhaler. But he could tell Bill meant what he said, and he could tell that he was really serious about it as well. So he eventually made himself look into Bill’s open and understanding eyes. “If you want Richie, I don’t see any reason you shouldn’t be with him. I mean, he’s obviously super into you, and you seem like you’re into him. You deserve to be happy, Eddie. You deserve to be with somebody you actually want to be with.”

Bill became blurry as Eddie’s eyes filled with tears. “But… but that would mean I, I’m….” He couldn’t say it out loud. Even though he knew it, had accepted it, it was too new to say. He knew it was nothing to be ashamed of; it was who he was. Still, his mouth, vocal chords, what have you simply wouldn’t cooperate. Luckily, Bill understood.

“And there’s nothing wrong with that,” he said, smiling his smile that got Eddie through childhood and adolescence. “If that’s who you are then it’s who you are, who you’ve always been. You’re still the same amazing best friend, you’re still an amazing mechanic, and you’re still gonna be an amazing doctor. The only thing that’ll change if you let yourself feel what you and Richie clearly feel for each other is that you’ll be so much happier. Eddie, I want you to be happy so bad, no one deserves it more than you.”

And that had Eddie full on sobbing as he threw himself into Bill’s strong and ready arms. He always knew what to say, always spoke so honestly. It was that honesty that had Eddie bursting with love and joy and gratitude, even as part of him still struggled through the unfamiliarity and guilt. “I love you, Billy,” he whispered into Bill’s now damp shoulder.

“I love you too, Eddie,” he said, his voice brimming with sincerity. Eddie couldn’t tell if he was crying as well, but his voice sounded choked up as he repeated, “I love you s-so much.”

 

*       *       *

 

Eddie wanted to tell Ben himself. He’d gone to bed intending to do so in the morning, but now they were having lunch at a seaside restaurant and he still hadn’t worked up the courage. Eddie looked off at the waves crashing on the shore, absently playing with his food. He kept sneaking glances at Ben; he felt guilty that he couldn’t work up the courage to tell him. It was _Ben_ , one of his best friends since middle school. He deserved to know.

But Eddie just… wasn’t ready. It was all so new still, he was still navigating his identity, still settling into it. He knew Ben would have no problem with it, but Eddie didn’t want to tell him just because he felt like he should. He hadn’t even really told Bill, Bill just knew, the way he always did. So he felt less guilty about not telling Ben and decided to give it a little time until it felt right, natural.

“Stan, Mike, Bev, and Richie are playing a show tonight,” he mentioned casually during a lull in conversation. “Richie sent me the time and address if you wanna go.”

“Yeah, I’d love to hear them,” Ben smiled enthusiastically, oblivious to the smirk Bill was trying to hide.

 

*       *       *

 

Eddie really liked spending the day seeing the city with Bill and Ben knowing he’d get to see Richie that night. It was a good balance of keeping with what the three of them had planned and a side of some unanticipated fun. Eddie was intrigued to find that the venue The Losers Club was playing that night was an outdoor venue. It was a beautiful night and a beautiful club, but all of that was forgotten once his eyes found Richie. They were playing pretty early on in the night and were getting their instruments and equipment ready. Eddie wasn’t sure if he should interrupt, but Mike waved them over when he caught Eddie’s eye, which made Richie, Bev, and Stan wave as well. Eddie ducked his head to hide his smile as he, Ben, and Bill made their way over to the other four.

“Hey! Glad you could make it,” Bev beamed, pulling all of them into hugs individually. Usually Eddie was kind of weird about hugging people he didn’t know very well, but it felt natural from Bev. Also, he’d made out with someone he’d known for a day, so Eddie wasn’t exactly acting the way he normally did.

Eddie felt Richie saddle up beside him. “Hi,” he leaned down to whisper in Eddie’s ear. Eddie looked up at him, both of them smiling at each other like dorks.

“Hi,” he said back.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Richie said, his voice soft and earnest in a way that made Eddie feel like he was floating on a cloud.

“So am I.”

“You look really cute tonight.” Eddie blushed at the compliment, huffing a laugh as he looked down at his shoes. The waves of realization had kept washing over Eddie all day: that Myra never made him feel the way Richie did, never complimented him like Richie did. She barely complimented him at all, so Eddie wasn’t used to the praise and attention Richie was giving him. Still, he made himself look back up into Richie’s eyes.

“Thanks,” he grinned. Then, feeling bold, he swept his eyes over Richie’s body, appreciating the extra button on his shirt that definitely didn’t need to be undone before making eye contact again and saying casually, “You look ridiculously hot.” A kick to his ankle told him that Bill heard the comment. However, when he checked over his shoulder, Ben seemed oblivious as he talked with the others, so Eddie threw Bill a smirk and turned back to Richie, who was now even closer than he had been before.

“You wanna get out of here?” he grinned easily, yet eyeing Eddie hungrily.

“I don’t think your bandmates would appreciate me kidnapping their guitarist,” Eddie giggled.

“Bold of you to assume _you’d_ be kidnapping _me_.”

Eddie was about to respond, but Stan smacked Richie on the back of the head, making Eddie jump and then laugh again. “We’re going on now, moron,” Stan told Richie. His voice sounded annoyed, but there was a small hint of a smile on his lips.

“Aye aye, captain,” Richie replied, saluting him. Then turning back to Eddie he asked, “Kiss me good luck?” Eddie looked over his shoulder. Ben and Bill were waiting for him as the other three began to head for the stage. His best friends’ eyes made him hesitate. “Hey, I get it, no worries,” Richie assured him with a gentle hand on Eddie’s elbow. Eddie turned back to him, his blue eyes and soft smile making his heart sing.

 _Fuck it_.

He caressed the side of Richie’s jaw and stood up on his toes to give him a brief but passionate kiss. He reveled in the wonderstruck smile the kiss left on Richie’s face. “Good luck,” he said before turning on his heel to join Ben and Bill, both of whom looked shocked. Bill, however, was smiling, whereas Ben just looked genuinely dumbfounded.

“Uh, Eddie?” he asked as the smaller man brushed past him and headed for the bar.

“I’m gay, Ben,” Eddie threw over his shoulder, suppressing a giddy giggle at how suddenly and easily it flowed off his tongue. He was tired of pretending, especially in front of his best friends. And suddenly he felt he didn’t have to hide; maybe it was being so far from home, or so far from Myra, or maybe it was being so close to Richie. Whatever it was, it gave Eddie random surges of confidence and self-assurance that he’d never known before. It was unbelievably liberating.

“Oh, wow,” Ben said, taking a seat next to Eddie at the bar. “That’s great! I’m really happy for you.” Eddie knew it was genuine, but he could also tell he had questions he was doing his best not to ask. He appreciated that Ben kept them to himself for the time being. It also helped when Beverly stepped up to the mic, effectively drawing Ben’s attention away from anything and anyone that wasn’t her.

The show was amazing, and Eddie would’ve laughed at the enchanted way Ben and Bill looked at Bev, but he knew he was looking at Richie the same way. He couldn’t help it; Richie’s voice was so smooth, and he kept making eye contact with Eddie while running his fingers along his guitar. It didn’t help that his eyes became hooded as he sang. Eddie sipped his water, feeling suddenly thirsty.

The set picked up pace during the last few songs, which had Richie and Bev jumping around the stage even more than usual, both of them throwing their heads around, their hair going wild. Stan and Mike’s instruments kept them more stationary, but Stan was still dancing as best he could at the keyboard, and Mike was going hard at the drums. All four of them were sweating when they walked over to meet Ben, Eddie, and Bill at the bar. They all got water bottles from the bar tender, but whereas Bev, Stan, and Mike drank theirs, Richie took his glasses off and poured his over himself, tilting his head back. Eddie’s eyes were drawn like magnets to the water as it ran over Richie’s lips and chin, then down his neck and exposed chest. Eddie made himself look away, as he could feel his dick growing in interest. However, he couldn’t keep his eyes off Richie for long; Eddie’s eyes followed his hands as he put his glasses back on and ran his fingers through his damp hair. He smirked knowingly at Eddie.

“You guys were amazing,” Ben gushed as the band hydrated and Eddie tried to catch his breath.

“Y-y-yeah, that was awes-some,” Bill agreed. At some point during the band mates getting their water, Beverly had taken Eddie’s spot between Ben and Bill, leaving Eddie much closer to Richie than he had been.

“Good enough for you to buy me a drink?” Bev grinned, running her hand along Bill’s bicep. Bill’s eyes widened, and though he looked more than happy to comply, Mike interjected before he could say anything.

“Drinks are on the house for us tonight,” he said, giving Bev a playfully scolding look.

“Which means they’re on the house for you guys as well,” Bev winked. “What are you drinking?”

Eddie felt Richie’s large hands on his waist pulling him back against his chest, pulling his attention away from the free drinks. Somehow Eddie didn’t care that his back was now wet. “Can I show you something?” Richie whispered in Eddie’s ear. Eddie nodded, letting Richie’s hands guide him toward the back of the club.

“Where are we going?” Eddie asked as Richie climbed over a rope that blocked off a staircase.

“You’ll see,” he grinned, lifting Eddie over the rope. Eddie would’ve been embarrassed if it wasn’t so hot.

“Uh, are we allowed to be here?” he asked as they climbed the stairs.

“I know the guy who works here,” Richie said. Eddie wasn’t so sure that that was a yes, but he followed Richie anyway, the two of them eventually coming out on a roof overlooking the club and a few surrounding streets.

“Wow,” Eddie whispered, walking slowly to the wall at the edge, admiring the view. He watched the other five do a round of shots together before heading out onto the dancefloor. Then, taking a wide look around, he admired all the lights of the club. Eddie was honestly kind of surprised when Richie came up and stood beside him instead of behind him.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful up here,” Richie said reverently, taking in the scenery before turning to Eddie.

“You’re beautiful,” Eddie shot back, grinning at how cheesy it was.

“I thought I was ridiculously hot?” Richie teased, a goofy grin on his face to match Eddie’s.

“Yeah, that too,” Eddie nodded, his smile dropping a bit as his eyes roamed Richie’s body again. When they made their way back to Richie’s face, he found that Richie was looking at him with those hooded, hungry eyes again. Eddie grabbed Richie’s shirt, pulling him in for a desperate and heated kiss. Richie returned the heat without hesitation, gripping Eddie by the waist and pulling him even closer. Eddie’s hands ran up Richie’s neck and cradled his jaw, keeping him close. Their lips moved together smoothly despite the rough nature of the kiss, Richie’s lips slightly salty with sweat. It was something Eddie didn’t ever think he’d find hot before that moment.

“Make we should move away from the edge,” Richie chuckled against Eddie’s lips.

“Yeah, that’s probably smart,” Eddie laughed, pulling Richie toward the center of the roof. Richie tumbled over his legs a bit, struggling to walk and kiss at the same time, making both men laugh even more. Still, they never broke the kiss, holding each other even tighter as their arms wound around one another. Richie’s tongue teased over Eddie’s bottom lip, opening up Eddie’s mouth. Eddie realized then that he’d never kissed anyone with tongue before. He was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t gross; Richie licked over Eddie’s tongue smoothly and subtly, just enough to make Eddie’s knees weak. He whimpered at the loss of Richie’s tongue on his own when Richie’s kisses became sweeter and gentler.

“If we don’t chill I’m gonna get a boner on this fucking roof,” he panted, shooting Eddie a dopey, blissed out grin.

“I could take care of that for you,” he whispered, aching to feel Richie against him.

“I’m not trying to fall off a roof and die with my dick out,” Richie said, kissing Eddie lightly. “Though I appreciate the offer.” Eddie took a moment to come down from his high and realized that, yeah, they were still in public. He hadn’t even thought about his own dick he’d been so distracted by Richie’s lips, but he was definitely half hard.

“Yeah, I guess we should slow down,” he agreed, realizing he didn’t want to pop a boner in public either. “Unless you wanna take this somewhere else?” he asked, looking up at Richie through his eyelashes.

“God, well when you look at me like that I do. You don’t think Ben and Bill would mind?”

Eddie thought about that for a second. “It would kind of be dick move to ditch them,” he admitted begrudgingly.

“Maybe I can sneak you out tonight,” Richie suggested, “pick you up once they’re asleep. It can be our sexy little secret.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Eddie agreed. Richie beamed at him before literally sweeping him off his feet to kiss him again.

 

*       *       *

 

Eddie felt guilty about how relieved he was when Ben and Bill both said they were exhausted when they got back, but it made his tryst with Richie much easier to get away with. He didn’t even need to pretend to change into pajamas, as they both passed out as soon as they possibly could. Eddie texted Richie, his entire body thrumming with anticipation. Eddie made sure to take a room key with him and quietly slipped out the door when Richie texted him that he was waiting outside. He was glad Richie hadn’t pulled up any closer to Eddie’s room, as his car was making some very loud and obnoxious sounds.

“Hey, handsome,” Richie greeted him as he slid into the passenger seat. Eddie gave him a peck on the lips, but he couldn’t help commenting on the car.

“You know, I can look at your car if you want,” he offered.

“Can I look at your ass while you bend over the hood?” Richie shot back with a wink as he pulled away.

“I’d be under the car by the sound of it,” Eddie said, rolling his eyes fondly.

“Mm, no-go then, sorry, sweetheart. You enjoy your vacation.”

The drive to Richie’s apartment was shorter than Eddie had expected. It was a simple place, but still nicer than he’d imagined, given that Richie was a musician and lived by himself. He complimented the apartment as he walked through the door, and he supposed the surprise must’ve been evident in his voice as Richie replied, “Rich parents,” in an explanatory tone, almost apologetically. Eddie nodded. “Can I get you anything?” he offered.

It was then that Eddie realized he really didn’t know how to do this. He’d never hooked up casually with anyone before, and being with Myra for three years certainly didn’t help educate him on proper etiquette to follow when a hot guy invites you over to his place to hook up. “I’m alright,” Eddie said, hoping his voice didn’t waver too much.

“Hey,” Richie said softly, stepping into Eddie’s space and cradling his face softly. Eddie leaned into his touch gratefully. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do.”

“I know,” Eddie replied quietly, honestly.

“I can take you back to your hotel if you get uncomfortable or of it’s too much, or I can pay for a cab or an Uber or something if that’s better-”

Eddie cut his rambling off with a kiss. “Richie,” he said firmly, looking into the other man’s deep blue eyes, “I want to be here. I’m not going anywhere.” Richie grinned, the nerves fading from his face.

“Like, _anywhere_?” he asked. “Because I’m into it if you wanna get down on the floor, but I’ve gotta say, my bed’s a lot more comfortable.” Eddie rolled his eyes and smiled before kissing Richie again.

“Why don’t you take me there then?” Richie grinned at him and picked him up, making him squeal in surprise. He held tightly onto Richie so that he wouldn’t drop him, burying his face in Richie’s neck. He pressed his lips to the smooth skin there, earning an appreciative hum from Richie.

Though his apartment was nice, it was still pretty small, so they reached the bedroom quickly. Richie set Eddie gently down on the bed, connecting their lips softly. Eddie melted into it, letting Richie guide him so that he was lying with his back on the bed and his head on the pillow. They both kicked off their shoes, smiling at each other as Richie climbed on top of Eddie, his hair a fluffy halo around his head as he hovered over Eddie. “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Eddie said, his voice nearly slurred by how sincerely and completely smitten he felt. Richie’s eyes flickered with something Eddie couldn’t place, something soft, and he smiled down at Eddie as the latter ran his hand through Richie’s hair so he could see his face better.

“You know, they just came up with these crazy things called mirrors,” he shot back, giving Eddie a smile that managed to be both goofy and hot. “You should really try one out some time.” Eddie rolled his eyes and blushed, grinning as he used his hold on Richie’s hair to pull him into a kiss. Richie moaned, which Eddie wasn’t expecting. It went straight to his dick, making him almost fully hard. Eddie whimpered in response, tracing his tongue along Richie’s lower lip in an attempt to deepen the kiss. Richie teased him, licking back lightly but not opening his mouth up to Eddie. Eddie’s hands gripped Richie’s hair more tightly, pulling his face impossibly closer. Still, Richie’s mouth stayed mostly shut. Frustrated and horny, Eddie slid his hand down Richie’s sides to his hips and pulled him flush against himself. Richie moaned in surprise, and Eddie took the opportunity to tease Richie’s tongue with his own. Richie’s hands gripped the sheets next to Eddie’s head. Eddie didn’t care for that at all; he wanted those hands on _him_. He took Richie’s left hand placed it on his cheek, lavishing in how big Richie’s hand felt cradling his face. “Fuck, Eddie,” Richie panted, pulling back. “You’re sure about this?”

“Richie, please, I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you,” Eddie replied, not caring that he was begging for it; he was getting desperate. Richie’s eyes went starry and fond at that.

“Is this okay? Or do you want to be on top?” he asked.

“This is amazing,” Eddie assured him. He and Myra didn’t get intimate too often, and whenever they did Eddie was always on top. He liked the change – a lot. “I… I want you to show me,” he said then, suddenly much shier. Richie cracked a smile. “What?”

“I wanna know what love is!” Richie burst out singing, the sound making Eddie jump before he caught on and began giggling. “I know you can show me!”

“Oh my god, I’m serious, you dick!” Eddie laughed, playfully smacking Richie on the shoulder.

“Okay, okay, sorry,” he chuckled. But his eyes became more serious then as they scanned Eddie’s face.

 Eddie looked into Richie’s clear blue eyes, losing himself in them, drowning in them. His eyes wandered over the planes of Richie’s face, taking in the freckles and the lips that were tinged a red shade of pink from Richie licking them so much. “Please show me what it’s supposed to be,” Eddie whispered, making himself vulnerable in the most thrilling and heart melting way.

Richie nodded. “I’ve got you,” he said, his voice raw and bare as he leaned in and connected their lips again. Eddie clung to him, needing him closer. He moaned when Richie slowly rocked his hips into Eddie’s. Eddie opened his legs so that Richie could fit between them, so that he could feel him even closer. “Gonna make you feel so good, baby,” Richie murmured in Eddie’s ear before trailing kisses down his neck. Eddie whimpered, gripping at Richie’s hair and shirt when Richie grazed his teeth against Eddie’s sensitive skin. He shuddered when Richie ran his hands under his shirt. Eddie never knew he could want someone so badly. He pulled at Richie’s shirt, making Richie laugh as he desperately tried to take it off. Richie sat up, smirking down at Eddie as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt, casually letting it fall. Eddie watched his fingers work, mesmerized.

“Fuck,” Eddie practically squeaked, his voice already high and breathy. He sat up and began kissing his chest, something he’d been dying to do all night. Richie sighed contentedly, but he gently pulled Eddie back.

“This is about you right now, angel,” he drawled, kissing him languidly. “Can I take this off?” he asked, playing with the hem of Eddie’s shirt. Eddie nodded eagerly, lifting his arms as Richie slid his shirt off of him. “So gorgeous,” he muttered, as if to himself as his eyes raked over Eddie’s body. He kissed him again, gently pushing him back onto the mattress. His hand ran down Eddie’s chest, down to his stomach. Eddie moaned loud and high pitched as Richie finally palmed Eddie’s cock through his shorts. He gripped onto Richie’s biceps as he pulled back to watch Eddie’s reactions. Eddie’s eyes were transfixed on Richie’s fingers as they deftly undid his belt, the buttons on his shorts, the zipper. Eddie helped him get rid of the shorts, tossing them carelessly aside, leaving Eddie in nothing but his underwear. There was a clear wet spot where his cock was leaking precum. He could feel it throbbing in need as Richie eyed the bulge hungrily. He took Eddie’s chin in his hand, making him look into his eyes. “You ready?” he asked.

“Please,” Eddie whimpered, gripping onto the sheets with one hand and Richie with the other. Richie smiled and leaned in to kiss Eddie sweetly before pulling his briefs off of his legs. Eddie felt incredibly exposed, but it felt amazing, because he also felt _safe_ , and excited. He watched as Richie took his cock in his hand, his long fingers wrapping around Eddie’s aching hard on. Eddie threw his head back in pleasure, but soon lifted it again to watch as Richie stroked his cock. His hand was so big that he barely had to move it; his one hand practically engulfed Eddie’s entire cock. It was the hottest thing Eddie had ever seen. “Oh my god,” he whined, squirming under Richie’s touch.

“Does it feel good?” Richie asked.

“So fucking good, holy shit,” Eddie moaned, his toes curling as Richie twisted his wrist.

“You look amazing like this, baby,” Richie praised. “Your cock looks so pretty leaking all over my hand, I wanna taste you so bad.”

“Oh, fuck, please,” Eddie whimpered, his eyes wide as he watched Richie lower his mouth to Eddie’s cock. Eddie thought he might come just at the sight of Richie’s full lips brushing against the head of Eddie’s cock. He ran his tongue along the underside of the head, his touch like a whisper. Eddie’s hand found purchase in Richie’s hair, resisting the urge to pull his head down onto his cock. Richie made eye contact with Eddie, and they were the eyes he’d been giving Eddie ever since they first laid eyes on each other. Eddie’s body felt like Jell-O as Richie smirked and took Eddie into his mouth, bobbing up and down, hollowing his cheeks. Eddie cried out, his hand tightening in Richie’s curls, making the latter moan around his cock. Richie fondled Eddie’s balls gently as his mouth worked along his cock, making Eddie’s eyes roll back. He was close within a matter of minutes, which was kind of embarrassing, but to his credit it was the first time he was getting a _real_ blowjob, the first time either party was enjoying themselves. Eddie’s body went rigid as he felt his orgasm building in his stomach. “RichieRichieRichie,” he chanted, his hips jumping forward. “I-I’m close,” he warned. He tried to pull Richie off, but he kept his lips wrapped around Eddie’s cock, running his tongue along the shaft and swallowing his entire cock. Eddie came with a shout as Richie choked around his cock. His orgasm wracked through him, leaving him pliant and panting as he came down from the high. He could barely keep his eyes open to watch Richie swallow his come and wipe his mouth, smiling at Eddie. Eddie didn’t think he’d ever seen anyone so happy to look so wrecked. “Wow,” Eddie breathed. He reached weakly for Richie, who gladly laid himself next to Eddie and pulled him into his arms.

“You look really hot when you come,” Richie said, placing soft and slow kisses along Eddie’s neck and cheek. Eddie looked him in the eyes, his blissful haze clearing up a bit.

“I wanna see what you look like when you come,” he whispered, batting his eyelashes up at Richie.

“Yeah?” Richie asked, his voice husky. “You wanna watch me stroke myself over you? Or do you wanna be the one to make me come?” Eddie let out a choked noise; both of those options sounded insanely hot.

“Wanna taste you,” Eddie answered, surprising himself yet again. Richie groaned, his head dropping a bit.

“Fuck, baby, you really wanna suck me off?” Richie asked, his voice sounding strained. Eddie climbed on top of him then, kissing him deeply and purposefully. He ran his tongue along Richie’s lips in order to convince him of what he wanted to do to his cock.

He pulled away, eager to get Richie undressed. He took his time undoing Richie’s jeans, savoring the moment and teasingly stroking his cock through the rough fabric. He smirked proudly when Richie moaned at the contact. He helped Eddie get his jeans off, and Eddie admired Richie’s legs; he especially admired his thighs and the way his boxer briefs clung to them. His breath caught however the second his eyes travelled above Richie’s thighs. His shock at the size of the outline in Richie’s boxers must have shown on his face, because Richie chuckled.

“Yeah, I uh, I get it if you wanna take the offer back,” he grinned, almost sheepishly, though there was definitely pride on his face as well.

Eddie looked at Richie with wide eyes. “I have never wanted anything as badly as I want your cock in my mouth.” Pride welled in his chest at the shocked look on Richie’s face, and he didn’t miss the way his cock twitched at his words. He slid Richie’s boxers off his long legs and admired his cock; it was fucking beautiful. Sure, Eddie was intimidated; he’d never touched a dick other than his own, and Richie was huge. But his mouth was also watering at the sight. He took it tentatively in his hand, experimentally stroking it, marveling at how small his hand looked in comparison. Richie let out a noise of appreciation. He leaned in lower then, tentatively licking at the sensitive spot where the shaft met the head. Richie gasped, running his hand through Eddie’s hair. Eddie took a breath before taking Richie’s cock into his mouth. He was surprised to find that he actually really liked the taste, so much so that his head began to swim. He sunk lower onto his cock until it hit the back of his throat, making him choke. He pulled off, catching his breath.

“You’re doing so good,” Richie praised, “those pretty lips of yours feel so good around my cock.” The praise encouraged Eddie, and he took Richie into his mouth again, relaxing his throat as he took Richie as far down his throat as he could. He still gagged, but he kind of liked the burn now that he knew to expect it. Richie’s moans also made the choking and the tears in his eyes completely worth it. He stroked what his mouth couldn’t reach with his hand, using his spit and Richie’s precome as lube. Eventually both of Richie’s hands were in Eddie’s hair, gently guiding Eddie’s head up and down, setting the pace. The control Richie exercised over him made Eddie moan around Richie cock. He swirled his tongue around the head, licking up his precome as it leaked out. “Fuck, baby, taking my cock so good, look at you, so fucking beautiful,” Richie rambled. Eddie kept going, drinking in every moan he elicited from Richie. “Eds, baby, fuck, I’m coming.” Eddie pulled off at the warning, stroking Richie’s cock and watching in awe as he came, his muscles tightening and thick, white ropes of come shooting out onto his chest and Eddie’s hand. Eddie wasn’t nearly as grossed out by the come dripping down his hand as he expected to be; in fact, watching Richie come, his chest heaving and eyes heavy with pleasure almost had Eddie’s dick growing hard again.

“Wow,” he breathed again, appreciating the sight before him.

“That was fucking amazing,” Richie panted, a lazy smile on his lips.

“Do you want me to get a washcloth or something?” Eddie asked, running his thumb along one of Richie’s hip bones.

“Only if you want to,” Richie said, stroking Eddie’s arm lightly as he smiled dreamily up at him. “The bathroom’s across the hall.” Eddie kissed him, sweet and lasting before getting up and going across the hall. Looking in the mirror as he washed his hands, he almost laughed out loud at how fucked out he looked – his hair was wilder than it had ever been, and he was practically glowing. He found a washcloth, held it under the sink, and wrung it out before returning to the bedroom. He wiped Richie’s stomach down slowly, taking his time while Richie played with his hair. Once Eddie was done he got up and threw the washcloth in the hamper.

He wasn’t quite sure what to do then. For a panicked moment he thought Richie might kick him out. But when he turned around Richie had his arms open, inviting Eddie into them. He smiled softly, happily climbing into Richie’s embrace, curling into his side. He ran his fingers across Richie’s chest and sighed contentedly. Richie kissed him lightly on the head, holding him a bit tighter. He knew he’d have to stay awake, would have to sneak back into his hotel room before Ben woke up. But in that moment he was engulfed in the smell of Richie, he could feel Richie’s fingers tracing shapes on his arm; he was so happy, and nothing mattered other than the sound of Richie’s heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun drinking game: take a shot every time I said “soft/softly” or “gentle/gently” lmao we love some soft bois


	5. This is Gonna Take Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter title taken from "Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift  
> some other lines form that song that summarize this chapter include:  
> "Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams."  
> "And his voice is a familiar sound. Nothing lasts forever, but this is getting good now."  
> "You see me in hindsight  
> Tangled up with you all night  
> Burnin' it down  
> Some day when you leave me  
> I bet these memories follow you around"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up lmao
> 
> (also sorry this took two weeks, work and life have both been v busy lol

“Have a good time last night?”

The question made Eddie look up from his cup of coffee, analyzing the smile on Ben’s face. “Uh, yeah, yeah the club was awesome, and so was the show,” he answered, taking a sip of his coffee.

“I’m referring to the fact that you got back to the room at around 3:30 last night,” Ben smirked, making Eddie choke.

“Oh,” he said, clearing his throat and catching his breath. “Yeah, that was a good time too.” He grinned through the blush on his cheeks.

“Were you with Richie?” Ben asked, his eyes lighting up; Ben was a hopeless romantic, and a bit of a gossip as well. Eddie just nodded, failing to suppress a smile. Ben gasped delightedly. “Oh my god! Wow, that’s… wow. That’s so romantic! It’s like a mini summer romance.” Eddie laughed at Ben’s enthusiasm.

“I don’t know how romantic it was, but I sure would like to do it again,” he said.

“What happened?” Ben asked, almost sounding like he didn’t want to know but his curiosity got the better of him.

“He sucked my dick,” Eddie shrugged, as if it wasn’t a monumental moment in his life, “and I sucked his.”

“Holy shit,” Ben whispered.

“It is too early for m-me to hear ab-bout th-th-this,” Bill muttered with his face still mushed into his pillow.

“Then go back to sleep,” Ben teased. “I wanna support Eddie and his thriving sex life.” Eddie snorted at that, his skin going warm again. “Do you think you’re gonna see him again?” Ben asked, turning his attention back to Eddie, who shrugged again.

“I hope so. I think so.” Ben genuinely squealed in excitement then, making Eddie roll his eyes. Still, he grinned at his friend’s antics; he really didn’t expect his friends to be so encouraging about him getting dick, but here they were.

 

*       *       *

 

Richie texted Eddie as he, Ben, and Bill were heading to dinner.

**Richie:** hey cutie! sorry i havent gotten back to u all day, i slept through the first hour of rehearsal and the others made me make it up and also buy them all food lol. how was the car tour??

Eddie smiled at his screen, blindly following Ben and Bill to the table the hostess led them to.

**Eddie:** it was awesome!! and you’re good, no worries (: sorry you got punished lol

**Richie:** wouldnt mind it so much if u did the punishing (;

**Richie:** or i could punish u, whatever you’re into

Eddie blushed at the texts, unsure how to respond at first. He’d never even approached something like that. He’d thought about it, sure, and he liked the idea, especially when he started thinking about Richie’s hands, how they’d feel holding him down, spanking him, choking him…

“Can I get you boys water to start?” the waitress’s voice brought Eddie out of his head. He nodded along with Bill and Ben and opened the menu in front of him, but he couldn’t focus on the words or pictures. He could only hear Richie’s voice in his mind, imagining how good it would sound giving him orders, saying even filthier things than he’d said the night before. He took his phone out and quickly typed out a reply, sending it before he could change his mind.

**Eddie:** I’m interested

It was simple enough, and could definitely be taken as a joke if he needed it to, but his heart was still hammering in his chest as he finally began looking over the menu. But the food wasn’t what had his mouth watering. Richie’s reply came instantly, and Eddie was almost nervous to check it.

**Richie:** fuuuuuck eds, any chance u can come over like right the fuck now??

Eddie smirked proudly at his phone.

**Eddie:** Unfortunately I just sat down to dinner lol

**Richie:** well we’re all going to the beach later, u guys in??

Eddie texted back his confirmation after checking with Bill and Ben. He then put his phone away for the rest of meal, partly so that he wasn’t being rude, but also because he didn’t trust Richie to not say something that would make him pop a boner in public.

 

*       *       *

 

As Eddie lay on the cool sand, gazing at the stars above him with drunken wonder, he thought he might be having one of the best nights of his life.

The seven of them had sat in a circle in the sand about an hour and a half earlier, passing around a bottle of rum and a couple water bottles of vodka. Eddie was surprised to find that he didn’t mind all of the unfamiliar germs he was sharing – he felt safe in this new group, comfortable. Free. They all got drunk together, and someone started playing music from their phone, which got them all dancing. Richie picked Eddie up into his arms and swung him around, pressing small kisses all across his cheeks and jaw as he giggled. Eddie felt so amazing; he was being exactly who he wanted to be – in a public place – and not giving a shit about who saw. He splashed around in the cold waves with six amazing people, laughing under the stars, not a single thought about Myra or classes plaguing his mind. He went skinny dipping, which is not something Eddie ever thought he would do. He felt a little silly, a little insecure at first, but once he realized that even Bill and Ben were pretty relaxed about it he calmed down and let himself enjoy it. And he found that he really _did_ enjoy it – especially the part where he got to see Richie naked.

Richie came over lay down next to Eddie. “Whatcha thinkin’ about, cutie?”

“I’m just really, really happy,” he answered, smiling softly at Richie.

But as he lay in bed that night, the lights off and the room quiet, a small bit of dread fell to the pit of his stomach; because he was really, truly happy, but that happiness had an expiration date.

 

*       *       *

 

Wednesday was the Hemingway house day, and Bill was up before Eddie for maybe the first time ever. Eddie loved seeing him so excited. He was already gushing about Hemingway and how much of a badass he was and it wasn’t even ten in the morning.

Eddie was also excited because Richie, Bev, Mike, and Stan were joining them. Mike had offered to drive, but when they rolled up there were only five seats. “I’ve got some equipment in the trunk that I couldn’t get rid of,” he explained apologetically, “so you guys are gonna have to lap sit.” Eddie blushed a little and met Richie’s eye. He was already smirking at him, looking very comfortable in the backseat for a person of his height. Bev hopped out of the car, letting Bill and Ben into the car. Bill got stuck in the middle between Richie and Ben, and Bev sat in Ben’s lap, but Bill’s excitement didn’t waver. Eddie went around the other side and awkwardly climbed into Richie’s lap.

“God, you’re bony,” he complained, trying to get comfortable as he leaned his back against Richie’s chest. It was far easier than he made it seem.

“That’s not a bone, sweetheart,” he whispered in Eddie’s ear. Eddie knew it was a joke, but he still shivered.

“How long is the drive?” Eddie asked Mike, his voice already higher than usual.

“About half an hour? Maybe forty-five minutes?”

Eddie could feel Richie chuckle lowly beneath him. It was going to be a long ride. He supposed he could switch over and sit on Bill’s lap if he really wanted to – he had a little more muscle padding than Richie, and Eddie knew neither he nor Bill would be at risk of popping a boner. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s waist, keeping him from being thrown about the cabin of the car, and his thumbs slid under Eddie’s shirt to rub circles into his skin. Eddie stayed in Richie’s lap for the whole drive there and back.

Eddie personally wasn’t a big Hemingway fan, but he had to admit that the tour was pretty cool. However, the reason he really enjoyed it was that Bill and Richie were both completely enraptured. They spent the whole tour side by side talking to each other, whispering commentary. Sometimes Bill would ask questions, and Richie made multiple remarks about how hot Hemingway had been. It made Eddie’s chest feel warm to see the two bonding so perfectly. It felt right, like it was supposed to be that way – the seven of them all worked so well together. It made Eddie feel warm inside, but the cold reminder that this was temporary, that they had less than a week crept along the edges of his mind.

 

*       *       *

 

Eddie lay on Richie’s bed that night with Richie on top of him between his legs, their lips moving together slowly, languidly, as though they had all the time in the world. Time felt like a foreign concept to Eddie when he was kissing Richie; he got lost in the feeling of his lips on his own and his hands wandering over his body. Richie ran his hand down Eddie’s bare chest before palming his erection through his shorts. Eddie moaned into Richie’s mouth, bucking his hips up to meet his touch. “Richie,” Eddie panted, tugging Richie back by his hair so that he could look him in the eye. Richie hummed in response, his lips pink and eyes hooded as they roamed over Eddie. Eddie’s heart hammered in his chest as he summoned the courage to ask, “Can… can I maybe… fuck you?”

Richie’s eyes widened, and for a terrifying second Eddie thought that he was gonna reject him, that he was going to have to find a way back to the hotel from Richie’s place, awkwardly putting his clothes back on. But when Richie replied, it was with a breathless, “Fuck, yes, please.” There was a still moment between them before Eddie pulled him into another kiss, desperate and bruising.

“You’re gonna have to, uh, walk me through it,” Eddie laughed, a bit nervous. Richie nodded and peppered kisses all across Eddie’s face and neck.

“I can definitely do that,” he agreed. He sucked hard on Eddie’s neck, making Eddie practically yelp in surprise and pleasure. He grabbed Richie by the hips and flipped them over so that he was straddling him, staring down into his wild blue eyes. Eddie’s heart fluttered at Richie’s awestruck grin. He ran his hands reverently down Richie’s chest, his fingertips tentatively tracing the elastic band of Richie’s boxers. Eddie eyed the bulge in his boxers hungrily. He slowly pulled them off of Richie, savoring the moment as his cock became exposed. Eddie moaned at the sight; though he’d seen it before, he was still struck by how hot it was.

Richie stuck his legs up in the air to make it easier for Eddie to get his boxers off, but his legs were so long and gangly that Eddie had to reach his arms up above his own head to get them off, which made both of the men giggle together as Eddie finally tossed them to the side. He leaned over and kissed Richie deeply, both of them smiling into it. Eddie didn’t think he’d ever smiled into a kiss before kissing Richie.

He reached down and wrapped his fingers around Richie’s cock. It was hard in his hand, and he could feel the vein on the underside as he swiped his thumb along the soft skin. Richie moaned into the kiss, his hands pulling Eddie’s face even closer. They then ran down his body, pulling at his boxers. Eddie giggled into the kiss again before sitting back to kick his boxers all the way off. It was then, once they were both totally exposed and Richie’s legs were wide open in front of him, that Eddie’s heart really started to race. He was a little nervous, but he was also ridiculously excited to be inside of him. He ran his hands up and down Richie’s thighs, the feeling of the soft, curly hair there foreign yet comfortingly familiar, beautiful. All of Richie was so beautiful to Eddie, and he said as much.

“You’re pretty nice sight, too, Eds,” Richie grinned, his fingertips grazing Eddie’s skin. “Especially right now, you look so fucking good between my legs.” His words went straight to Eddie’s achingly hard dick. He pulled Richie up into his arms, holding him tightly as their lips moved together. Their cocks rubbed together, making them both whimper. Richie pulled away then to lean over and grab something from his dresser drawer. Eddie saw that he had a condom and a bottle of lube, which made his breath catch – but this time it wasn’t scary, it wasn’t restricting; Eddie was choking on the anticipation and excitement he was feeling. “You want me to get it started?” Richie asked. Eddie nodded.

“Wanna watch you,” he said, running his hands up and down Richie’s legs.

“Fuck,” Richie muttered, his eyelids fluttering as he uncapped the lube. He squeezed some onto his fingers, spreading it across them. Eddie watched intently, his eyes following every movement as Richie brought his fingers his hole. He rubbed at the pink ring of muscle a bit before sliding his middle finger into himself. Eddie’s breath hitched at the sight, and he could feel precome running down his cock; Richie’s fingers were works of art on their own, and they looked even more amazing pumping slowly in and out of him. “Touch yourself for me, baby,” Richie said. Eddie did as he was told, whimpering lightly once he had his hand around his cock. He pumped it slowly, not wanting to get ahead of himself. “Do you like watching me open myself up for you?”

“Fuck yes,” Eddie said, “I can’t wait to fuck you.” Richie added another finger then and threw his head back as he adjusted to the stretch. He began pumping his fingers faster, and Eddie watched in awe as he began to scissor them as he fucked himself with them. “Can I try?” Eddie asked, nearly breathless.

“Please do,” Richie said, slowing his fingers. Eddie grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed some onto his fingers, surprised at first by how cold it was. He rubbed it around his fingers as he’d seen Richie do, feeling it get warmer as he did so. Then, with somewhat shaky breath, he pulled Richie’s hand away and slowly slid two of his fingers into his hole. Richie moaned, his hands gripping the sheets. Eddie was surprised by how much he liked it; how hot and tight Richie was around his fingers, the noises Richie made whenever Eddie moved his fingers. He loved all of it. He felt himself getting impossibly harder as he watched Richie writhe and moan underneath his touch. “Eds, please,” Richie whined in a voice Eddie had never heard him use before.

“Please what?” Eddie asked, his voice lower than he realized it could go.

“Please fuck me,” Richie begged, his eyes wide and pleading. He was practically pouting up at Eddie as he added, “Please, I need to feel you inside of me.” That made Eddie gasp, his fingers curling inside of Richie as he lost his concentration for a moment. Richie gasped as well, grinding down on Eddie’s fingers. Eddie slid his fingers in and out of Richie a few more times, curling them again, making Richie really whine before pulling them out and grabbing the condom. It was difficult to open while he still had lube on his fingers, but he got it eventually and rolled it onto his cock, stroking himself a few times. He grabbed the lube and, with Richie’s eyes on him, poured it generously over his cock. Richie whimpered as he watched Eddie spread the lube over his erection, which made Eddie’s cock throb in his hand.

He shifted forward, grabbing Richie’s thighs, and Richie angled his hips up. Eddie lined his cock up with Richie’s hole, the tip grazing the sensitive ring of muscle. “Ready?” Eddie asked, looking into Richie’s eyes. Richie nodded eagerly, his hands roaming over Eddie’s arms. Eddie never took his eyes off Richie’s as he slowly slid inside of him. Richie gasped as the head pressed past his entrance, his fingers tightening on Eddie’s biceps as he bottomed out. Eddie groaned as he did so; Richie was so tight and warm around his cock, his head was swimming. Richie looked up at him with his eyes wide, eyebrows drawn together, and mouth hanging open. Eddie thought he must be wearing a very similar expression. “You okay?” he asked, hands sliding up to Richie’s hips so he could rub circles into the skin on his hipbones. Richie nodded, his chest heaving as he caught his breath.

“Fucking amazing,” he breathed, “please move, wanna feel you fuck me.” Eddie slowly pulled back, eliciting a broken moan from Richie’s lips. He pushed back in just as slowly, letting both of them get used to the feeling. Richie reached one hand back up by his head, tangling it in the sheets. “Faster, please,” he begged. Eddie complied, gradually fucking in and out of Richie faster and faster. He moaned at the sensation, his grip on Richie’s hips tightening. “Oh, fuck!” Richie cried, throwing his head back.

“It feels so good, oh my god,” Eddie praised, beginning to sweat from the effort. Their breathy moans and the sound of skin on skin filled the room. Eddie picked up the pace, fucking Richie harder as heat built in his lower abdomen. Richie turned his head to the side, burying his face into his arm as a stream of high pitched moans left his mouth. Eddie slowed his thrusts down then and slid his fingers into Richie’s hair, gently tugging on it. “Look at me,” he said.

Richie turned his head then, his eyes wide with something Eddie couldn’t quite place. But as soon as their eyes met, they never drifted apart. Eddie ran his fingers through Richie’s hair, his thumb stroking lightly over Richie’s cheekbone. One of Richie’s hands slid up Eddie’s arm and gently cupped his cheek. Eddie leaned into the touch, giving Richie a small, wondrous smile. Richie returned the grin, his eyes starry as Eddie continued to thrust in and out of him. It felt amazing, and Eddie’s chest swelled with something stronger than lust or infatuation as he and Richie moved together, their bodies connected in the most intimate way possible. He leaned down and kissed Richie deeply, hoping to convey with his lips what he couldn’t with words. But maybe that was okay – he thought maybe it was. Trying to put the sensation into words would’ve soiled it, and he felt in the way Richie held him, the way he kissed him, and the way he looked at him that nothing of it needed to be said. Whatever it was, it flowed between them, embraced them, holding them together. Eddie rested his forehead against Richie’s as he began fucking him faster again, harder. They stared into one another’s eyes, drinking in each other’s every reaction. Eddie reached down between them, taking Richie’s cock in his hand. Richie moaned desperately, his hips stuttering, as though he couldn’t choose whether to thrust into Eddie’s hand or onto his cock. “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Richie panted, both of his hands caressing Eddie’s face, holding him close. With a few more thrusts and flicks of Eddie’s wrist, he was coming undone, his come shooting across his chest and over Eddie’s hand. He wrapped his arms around Eddie and held him tightly against himself as he rode out his orgasm. The sensation of Richie clenching around his cock and the sounds he made as he came sent Eddie over the edge, and he was soon coming into the condom, his moans muffled as he buried his face in Richie’s neck.

They slowly came down together, pressing soft kisses across each other’s skin as they ran their hands reverently over one another. Eddie pulled out slowly, both of them hissing slightly at the sensation. Eddie pulled the condom off, his fingers fumbling as he tried and failed to tie it off. “I got it,” Richie offered, taking it from Eddie and tying it off properly. Eddie was little embarrassed, but there was no hint of judgement in Richie’s gentle grin – some amusement, but mostly just fondness… and maybe, Eddie couldn’t help but think, something more. Richie threw the condom away and pulled Eddie back down to rest in his arms. Eddie rested his head on Richie’s chest, wondering if he’d ever be this happy again.

 

*       *       *

 

It was Saturday morning, and Eddie was standing behind Richie, his arms around his waist and head resting against his back as he stood at the stove. Ben and Bill had told him they were cool with him staying the night with Richie – hell, they’d encouraged it. So Eddie had taken advantage of the opportunity, and he was loving every second of it. Waking up next to Richie had been amazing. He had been surprised to find when he woke up that Richie was already awake, his hair wild and his face mushed into the pillow as he smiled sleepily at Eddie. Now he was making Eddie breakfast, walking around in nothing but his boxers. Eddie was in his boxers as well, and was currently borrowing one of Richie’s t-shirts, which hung down to the middle of his thighs. Richie transferred the eggs and cheese from the pan to the two toasted bagels he’d set out, taking them and spinning around as he placed them on the table. Eddie begrudgingly detangled himself from Richie to sit across from him and eat his breakfast. The excited look Richie was giving him as he took his first bite made his heart do flips. “So?” Richie asked expectantly.

“Amazing,” Eddie nodded, giggled at Richie’s proud grin.

“I am, aren’t I?” Richie responded. Eddie rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t argue with that.

They did the dishes together once they finished eating, and the realization that Eddie wanted every morning of his life to be exactly as it was in that moment hit him so hard he almost felt like he needed to sit down. Richie picked up on it immediately, resting a gentle hand on Eddie’s elbow. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” Eddie started, unable to look Richie in the eye. Richie took Eddie’s chin in his fingers, guiding his eyes up to his own.

“You can tell me.” Eddie didn’t know what it was, whether it was the openness in his blue eyes or the tone of his voice, but he believed him.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Eddie smiled sadly.

Richie’s lips dropped into a small frown. He stepped closer, so close that their noses brushed against each other. “I’m gonna miss you, too, Eds.” He kissed him then, a soft kiss that soon became deep and meaningful. Eddie let Richie take his hands and lead him back to the bedroom, trailing kisses down his neck as he did so. Richie laid Eddie down on his back and climbed between his legs. “This week has been amazing,” he whispered into Eddie’s ear, sucking lightly on his ear lobe. Eddie pulled him in for another kiss, their tongues tracing each other’s. Eddie wanted to memorize everything about Richie, from the smell of his hair to the way his skin heated up under Eddie’s touch.

“Richie?” Eddie asked. Richie hummed into Eddie’s neck in response. “I want you to fuck me,” he said before he could talk himself out of it. He’d been thinking about it all week, and he really didn’t want to go the rest of his life without knowing what it felt like to have Richie inside of him.

Richie pulled back, his eyes searching Eddie’s face as he caressed his cheeks. “You’re sure?” he asked.

“Very sure,” Eddie nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it all week.”

“Yeah?” Richie grinned, hiking up the shirt Eddie had borrowed and running his hands over his abdomen. “Why didn’t you say something, baby? All you have to do is ask.” Eddie never ceased to be amazed by how quickly and easily Richie could make his voice the sexiest thing Eddie had ever heard.

“I was nervous,” he admitted, “but I want it so bad.”

“Sit up, baby,” Richie practically purred. Eddie did so, letting Richie take his shirt off so that they were both down to just their boxers. “Gonna take such good care of you,” Richie murmured, laying Eddie back down and kissing him before trailing his lips down his neck and chest. Richie slipped so easily into the headspace it had Eddie regretting waiting this long to ask. Richie peppered kisses across Eddie’s stomach while his hands massaged his thighs, guiding them open. He slid his tongue under the band of Eddie’s boxers while looking up at him through his dark eyelashes. Eddie moaned, his hands finding their way into Richie’s hair almost instinctively. Richie smirked as he pulled Eddie’s boxers off and began kissing and biting at the sensitive area where the inside of Eddie’s thighs met his hips. Eddie whimpered and squirmed, his cock already hard. Finally Richie began sucking gently on Eddie’s balls, making Eddie whine softly. He licked a stripe up the underside of Eddie’s cock, and as he began licking and sucking on the tip, he gently massaged Eddie’s perineum with his thumb. Eddie let out a sound that was a mix of a moan and a surprised gasp, not expecting that to feel so good. He then gave Eddie’s cock a few strokes of his hand before spreading the mixture of saliva and precome across Eddie’s hole. Eddie gasped again, unused to the sensation. He’d cleaned himself out in the shower in preparation, but it was entirely different when it was someone else’s fingers, when it was _Richie’s_ fingers. “This okay?” Richie checked in, rubbing soothing circles into Eddie’s hip with his free hand.

“Feels really good,” Eddie nodded. “Please keep going, please.” Richie smirked proudly, and the slight air of condescension had Eddie’s cock leaking precome all over his lower stomach. Richie then leaned down and, to Eddie’s shock and extreme pleasure, stroked his tongue alone the tight ring of muscle. Eddie moaned filthily, his eyes rolling back for a second. He watched, entranced, as Richie stroked Eddie’s cock while eating him out, plunging his tongue inside of Eddie every now and then. The pleasure was like nothing Eddie had ever felt before, making his toes curl. But it wasn’t enough. “More,” he breathed. “Please, wanna feel your fingers inside of me.” Richie pulled away then, a string of saliva still connecting his lips to Eddie as he continued to lazily stroke Eddie’s cock.

“Grab the lube for me, darling.” Eddie reached over into the nightstand, knowing exactly where the lube was. He gave it to Richie obediently, earning himself a kiss on the forehead. Eddie flushed; he’d never realized how much he would love this. His eyes were glued to Richie fingers as he covered them in lube and brought them down to Eddie’s wet hole. He leaned over Eddie, his hair a black halo around his face and glasses sliding down his nose. “Ready, baby?” Richie murmured. Eddie just nodded and caressed Richie’s face, not wanting him to move away. Then he felt the pad of Richie’s finger swirling around the outside of his entrance, spreading the lube around before he slid his finger into him. Eddie gasped and leaned up to kiss Richie, but Richie only let him do so briefly before he was pulling back, out of reach. “Wanna see every face you make,” Richie explained. “Wanna hear every moan.” Eddie stared up at him, his mouth hanging open as Richie slowly moved his finger, gradually pushing more and more inside. “You’re taking it so well,” Richie praised, picking up the pace. Eddie reflexively opened his legs wider, which make Richie hum in approval. “Does it feel good?”

“Feels amazing,” Eddie said, his eyes becoming hooded as he watched the Richie work him open, the muscles in this forearm flexing as he did so. His other arm was right by Eddie’s head, so Eddie turned his face and pressed a smattering of light kisses to Richie’s arm. When he looked back at Richie, he was smiling down at him sweetly. Eddie began to smile back, but then Richie slid his finger all the way into Eddie and curled it just right, causing an intense wave of pleasure to shoot through Eddie. He moaned loudly, his eyes wide and back arching.

“Does that feel good?” Richie asked with a smirk as he continued to brush the tip of his finger against Eddie’s prostate.

“Fuck yes,” Eddie panted. “Holy shit.”

“Think you can take another, baby?”

“Please, please, need your fingers,” Eddie encouraged. Richie happily obliged him, carefully sliding a second finger into Eddie alongside the first. Eddie whimpered at the stretch. “God, they’re so long, feels so fucking good.”

“Yeah, you like my fingers, don’t you, baby boy?” And if Eddie wasn’t a whimpering mess already, he definitely was after hearing that pet name.

“God, since the first moment I saw you,” he admitted. “Your fingers look so good when you play. I didn’t even know at the time that I wanted them all over me, inside me, I just couldn’t stop staring at them.” Richie’s eyes became hungry then, the playfulness draining from them as he became rougher with his thrusts.

“Are they everything you wanted?” he asked, but Eddie was beyond words at the new pace. “You were fucking drooling over me that night, baby boy. Your eyes were fucking glued to me all night, so wide and innocent and desperate. I couldn’t even look at you for too long because I didn’t wanna get hard on stage.” His words had Eddie moaning, high-pitched and just as desperate as he’d said. Richie leaned even further down so that he was whispering in Eddie’s ear. “You know how bad I wanted you, baby? How long I’ve been thinking about getting you like this? I can’t believe it took me so long to get my hands on you, how long I was able to resist you. I wanted to bend you over that fucking bar and take you right there. Wanted my cock inside that ass the second I saw it.”

“Oh my god,” Eddie moaned. “Please, please fuck me, please, I need it.”

Richie kissed him deeply, soft and wet and passionate before pulling away and slowly sliding his fingers out. He retrieved a condom from his nightstand, ripping it open with his teeth as he stared Eddie in the eye. Eddie thought he might come just from the look Richie gave him as he did so. Eddie had never wanted anything as badly as he wanted Richie to absolutely ravage him in that moment.

Richie rolled the condom on, working it down his length. The action brought Eddie’s attention to the fact that Richie’s cock – which was nearly the size of Eddie’s forearm - was about to be inside of him. It made him a bit nervous, but mostly it just turned him on even more. Richie made sure there was plenty of lube on his cock before lining it up with Eddie’s hole. “You ready?” Richie asked, his voice returning to one of concern and care. Eddie nodded, his heart thrumming with excitement and anticipation. “Tell me if I’m hurting you,” Richie told him as he began to push in. Eddie gasped, followed by a whine as his hands scrabbled for something to hold onto. Richie took one of his hands in his own, entwining their fingers and resting their joined hands on the bed by Eddie’s head. “How are you doing?” Richie asked once he was about halfway in.

“Kind of hurts,” Eddie admitted, finding comfort in Richie’s unwavering eye contact and his thumb running over Eddie’s. “But it also feels really good.”

“I can stay just like this for a minute if you need me to,” Richie offered. Eddie shook his head.

“Please keep going, I can take it,” he insisted, his voice thin as he tried to catch his breath. Richie leaned down and kissed him as he continued sliding into him, their lips moving together as slowly as Richie’s hips. Eddie’s hand gripped Richie’s tighter and he whimpered as Richie bottomed out. It hurt to be stretched out so much, to have something so deep inside of him, but it also felt amazing. His mind was swimming with it all.

“Tell me when you want me to move,” Richie murmured against Eddie’s lips.

“I think I might need a second,” he admitted, his free hand stroking Richie’s hair as he trailed kisses down Eddie’s neck.

“No rush,” he assured him. “This is all about you right now, baby, want it to be amazing for you.”

“You’re so amazing,” Eddie sighed dreamily, pulling Richie up into a kiss. Eddie loved that he could feel Richie smiling against his lips, could feel his cheek heating up under his palm at the praise. “I’m ready,” Eddie whispered after a few moments of slow kisses. “Please fuck me.”

“So polite,” Richie teased, kissing Eddie’s forehead before pulling back to watch his reactions again. He slowly pulled his hips back, making Eddie hiss. He paused at the reaction, but Eddie encouraged him to keep going. And he was so glad he did, because Richie’s cock sliding into him felt even more amazing than the first time. The pain gradually faded away as Richie rocked into him and he adjusted to the new sensations. Richie smiled as he watched Eddie’s expressions melt into ones of pure pleasure. “Does it feel good, baby?” he asked when Eddie let out a small moan, his eyelids fluttering.

“So good,” he replied, his fingers playing with Richie’s curls. Richie rested his forehead against Eddie’s, kissing the tip of his nose. It made Eddie feel warm all over, made him want to pull Richie close and never let go. Eddie had never been so willingly vulnerable with someone before; but here he was, giving himself to Richie. And Richie was treating him so well, taking the time to appreciate every piece Eddie gave him. It almost made Eddie think he might cry.

Thankfully, Richie’s thrusts began to pick up pace, began to go even deeper, which drew Eddie slightly out of his emotional haze. “Tell me if it’s too much, angel,” Richie said, stroking their joined knuckles lightly over Eddie’s cheek. Eddie moaned as Richie began going faster and the pleasure increased.

“Oh- my god,” he moaned brokenly. The hand in Richie’s hair tightened, making Richie moan. He stared into Eddie’s eyes, that same look from the first night they met further igniting the fire in Eddie’s lower abdomen. Richie really picked up the pace then, began to fuck Eddie hard, and Eddie practically screamed a “Yes!” He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist, getting lost in the feeling.

“You like that, beautiful?” Richie asked. “You like it hard?” Eddie nodded weakly, words failing him as a string of moans fell from his lips. “God, you’re gorgeous, look so good under me. You take my cock so well, sweetheart.” Eddie braced himself on Richie’s shoulder with the hand that had been in his hair. Richie shifted his weight father forward, going even deeper. Eddie threw his head back, his moans and whimpers punctuated by Richie’s thrusts. The new angle pressed their joined hands into the mattress at a somewhat odd angle, but Eddie refused to let go of Richie’s hand; it tethered him, connected them in a way that was somehow even more intimate than Richie being inside of Eddie. So he was a little disappointed when Richie untangled their fingers, but any complaint died on his lips when Richie wrapped that hand around Eddie’s cock. “I want you to come on my cock,” Richie told him. “Can you do that, baby? Can you come for me?” Eddie once again just nodded, running his hands all over Richie’s face and body. He felt the heat rising inside of him as Richie stroked him. He stared into Richie’s eyes, trying to memorize every shade of blue in them. His eyes danced over his freckles and his lips. He never wanted to forget anything about the moment.

Soon enough, Eddie was coming into Richie’s hand, practically screaming with pleasure. “So beautiful,” Richie praised, following close behind with his own orgasm. His hips stilled as he came deep inside of Eddie. Eddie marveled in the way Richie looked when he came inside of him. He slowly lowered himself onto Eddie afterwards, breathing heavily into Eddie’s neck as Eddie’s hands ran through his hair and over his back.

“That… wow…” Eddie breathed, his mind still swimming.

“Agreed,” Richie chuckled breathlessly. “God fuckin’ damn, Eds. You’re a fucking dream.” Eddie pressed a kiss into his hair. Richie turned his head and kissed Eddie’s lips briefly before beginning to pull out. Eddie winced at the sensation; it was a little painful, and it left him feeling empty. “Come on, let me clean you up.” Richie pulled the condom off and threw it away, taking Eddie’s hand and guiding him to the bathroom. Eddie wasn’t prepared for the ache in his ass as he walked – he figured that would last for a little while.

 

*       *       *

 

Eddie resented himself for how quiet he was on the drive back to the motel. Showering with Richie had really driven the nail into the coffin; it had been so playful, so casual and comfortable and familiar. Eddie felt a lump grow in his throat every time he thought about going back to Atlanta, back to Myra. Living the rest of his life without that comfort and security.

“I feel kinda bad for coming back so late in the morning,” he said, mainly to occupy his mind with something else. “I mean, this morning was amazing, but Bill and Ben are probably waiting for me.” Richie chuckled at that. “What?”

“I wouldn’t be too worried about them waiting up for you,” he smirked.

“What does that mean?” Eddie asked, lost as to what Richie was trying to say.

“I’m pretty sure they both went home with Bev last night.”

Eddie balked at that. “Both of them?” he practically screeched. “But, but neither of them are…” he trailed off, his mind blown. But then Richie started singing a horrible rendition of The Lonely Island’s “3-Way (The Golden Rule),” which admittedly had Eddie giggling as well.

Damn, he was going to miss him.

 

*       *       *

 

Eddie didn’t realize it could be so hard to say goodbye to someone you barely knew, but here he was, standing in front of Richie Tozier for the last time, with a lump in his throat and no idea what to say.

All seven of them had gone out together one last time in honor of it being Bill, Ben, and Eddie’s last night. Bill and Ben had already gone inside the hotel room to get some rest before their flight the next day. Stan, Mike, and Bev were waiting in Mike’s car. Which left Richie and Eddie alone together in front of the hotel entrance.

It was hard for Eddie to accept as he looked into Richie’s eyes that it would be the last time he’d ever see them. He once again found himself lost in them, lost for words… He hated that Richie meant so much to him after just a week, but he also knew he wouldn’t change a thing. “It’s been a good week, Spaghetti,” Richie grinned, playing with Eddie’s hands. Eddie smiled sadly; there would be no one to call him that when he got home.

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed lamely, his grip on Richie’s hands unconsciously tightening. Richie must’ve picked up on that (Eddie thought he might be able to pick up on everything about Eddie), as he pulled Eddie into a hug then.

_Say something_ , Eddie told himself, a million parting words running through his brain. _I’ll miss you. This week meant the world to me. Thank you_. But what did they mean in the end? Eddie still hadn’t said anything by the time the embrace broke apart, frustrated and angry with himself and the entire situation.

“Have a safe flight,” Richie said, his voice as soft as it was when he held Eddie in his arms in the quiet of his bedroom in the middle of the night.

“Thanks,” Eddie grinned. He pulled Richie down for a sweet kiss, wondering if he even deserved to hurt the way he was hurting; he barely knew Richie. They hooked up a few times, that didn’t mean they meant anything to one another. But a part of him knew that wasn’t really true. Something about the two of them was different. Still, Eddie felt silly for thinking as much.

Richie’s lips left Eddie’s for the last time.

“Bye,” Richie grinned sadly.

“Bye.”

 

*       *       *

 

The stone in Eddie’s chest refused to shrink, refused to let him sleep. His eyes were red on the drive to the airport, his mouth in a tight line for most of the flight. He felt like he might be sick when they landed. Myra cried when he got home. Eddie hugged her, kissed her hello. She smelled like rubbing alcohol. Their lips barely touched.

Eddie took his time unpacking, every outfit containing a memory. The ghost of his hands on his waist, his lips on his neck, his laugh in his ears, his curls between his fingers. It was at the bottom of his bag that he found the shirt he’d worn that Saturday morning, the shirt that met the middle of his thighs. He calmly put his suitcase back in the closet, the shirt grasped firmly in his hand. He went to the bathroom and held it to his face, letting the tears come as silently as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so first of all i'm sorry lol but!! there's still one more chapter left!!


	6. Take Me Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hi hello i would just like to say a quick thank you to all of you for reading this!! writing this and getting feedback has been really fun and rewarding thanks to all of you guys who read and give kudos and comment stuff, so thank you so much!! i hope you enjoy this last chapter!!

**4 Years Later, New York City**

Eddie stared blankly at his notes, the words and diagrams beginning to blend together. He was on his fifth hour in the coffee shop, two empty cups of coffee and the remaining crumbs of a croissant scattered around his laptop, textbook, and notebooks. He refused to let the late-November slump get him (or his grades) down. However, after such a long time spent concentrating with very few phone breaks, Eddie’s mind was beginning to turn to mush. He told himself to keep studying, reminding himself that hard work was the only way to get through the next two and a half years of med school. However, his bleary eyes and wandering mind told him that no studying was going to be done at that moment. He ran his fingers through his hair and sat back in his chair with a sigh, figuring it was time for another break. He pulled his phone out in search of mental rest.

Usually the coffee shop was so busy that all of the voices faded into white noise. At this particular moment, however, two young college girls were talking loudly enough at the table behind him that Eddie couldn’t help but catch what they were saying. “…of those weird, underground indie bands Kyle likes that no one’s ever heard of.”

“What’s the name again?”

“I forget, hold on, let me check my texts.”

Eddie wasn’t really into the concert scene, so he tried to tune them out. However, what the girl said next caught Eddie’s full and undivided attention.

“They’re called The Losers Club.”

Eddie’s blood ran cold. He hadn’t heard that name in years. Sure, the quartet wandered into his mind from time to time, but never as anything more than a bittersweet memory. As Eddie continued to listen, any hope of his interest being captured by his Instagram feed far gone, he realized that the one girl was trying to convince her friend to go to the concert with her. A concert that, if the girl had the address right, was about seven or eight blocks away from Eddie’s apartment. _It might not even be them_ , Eddie told himself, trying to calm his thumping heart. But then the girl was trying to convince her friend to come by insisting that everyone in the band was super hot, and she was sharing the band’s Instagram handle with her so that she could see for herself. Suddenly, Instagram had Eddie’s attention again. He typed the username the girl had recited into the search bar, keeping his phone under the table so that neither of them would notice he’d been listening. Or at least that’s the reason he gave himself.

As the option showed up, Eddie’s thumb hesitated over it. Memories were one thing, but could Eddie really stand to see what the four of them looked like now? He wasn’t sure he could handle seeing them now, seeing _him_ now, acknowledging the lives that went on as Eddie’s own did after he left.

He locked his phone and put it away then, not wanting to distract himself. However, as he soon realized, the damage was already done; there was no way he could focus on medical jargon with images of big glasses and the most charming smile Eddie had ever seen taking up his mind, clouding out the 10-point font he was trying to focus on. Sighing, he packed up his stuff and put his coat on, making his way into the November chill.

By the time he got home to his shoebox apartment, curiosity got the better of him, and he clicked on the handle as he collapsed onto his bed, taking him to their page. Sure enough, it was them. Eddie felt a familiar tightening in his chest, a sensation which made him instinctively reach for the inhaler he’d drunkenly thrown into the Hudson two years earlier. Some of their pictures were promo stuff, but a lot of the pictures were of them. There were even some videos.

He clicked on their most recent post, in which the image was just the time and location of their next gig. It was the Friday night of that week, two days away, and sure enough, the venue was close enough to Eddie’s apartment for him to walk. Tickets were only twenty dollars. His Friday night was free that week, midterms were over, finals still a distant reality, so there was really nothing keeping him from going. _But why would I go?_ Eddie asked himself. He hadn’t spoken to any of them in four years. They might not even recognize him. Eddie clicked off the image, figuring he still had two days to make a decision.

His eyes were immediately drawn to a picture of Richie. His heart fell into his stomach at just the small preview. He clicked on the image, enlarging it and reading the caption, “Dickard tearing it up -Bev.” Eddie smiled despite himself at the caption, surprised to find that he could practically hear her voice in his head. He took his time letting his eyes wander over Richie’s profile, lit up with blue and purple lights. It shuttled Eddie so suddenly into the past, immersing him in a disturbingly vivid memory of the first night he ever saw that face. His hair was still long, and the light softly caressed his curls. His glasses were slipping down his nose as he stared down his guitar, his lower lip caught under his teeth in concentration. He could almost remember what his lips felt like on his own, down his neck, his chest…

Eddie exited their page, deciding to just forget about it; he didn’t like the way it made his heart jump and his cheeks heat up. What was the point of dredging up 4-year-old, week-long feelings? He tried to distract himself, to push the thoughts of Richie out of his mind, but he couldn’t stop thinking about him. He didn’t know how after four years and two (now ex) boyfriends Eddie could still remember the feeling of his fingers so vividly, but it was like he was really feeling them on his skin. Eddie’s self-restraint crumbled by the second, and he was quickly pulling up another picture of Richie from the band’s account, one where he was looking straight into the camera. It took Eddie’s breath away; they weren’t exactly his bedroom eyes, but they were close, and the smirk on his lips drove Eddie just as wild as it had four and a half years before.

Eddie’s hand slid up his shirt, almost involuntarily. He ran his fingers over his chest, staring at the fingers arranged on the guitar in the photo and wishing they were on him, wishing they were inside him. He slowly let his hand travel down his stomach, under his waist band. His cock was already hard, and just the slightest touch of his fingers had him whimpering. He threw his phone to the side and undid his pants, tossing them onto the floor. He threw his shirt of top of them, tugging his boxers down to his ankles, not even bothering to kick them off. He got out the lube from his nightstand, squeezing a fair amount into his palm. Once it was warmed up, he wrapped his hand around his cock, which was already throbbing and leaking. He let his head rest back, eyes shut as memories of soft lips played through his mind. He pumped his hand slowly up and down his shaft, teasing at the head. He thought about the way Richie’s lips felt around his cock, the moans he’d make when Eddie pulled on his curls. He remembered the way Richie looked up at him while he sucked his cock, his eyes blazing in a way that set Eddie’s skin on fire. Eddie didn’t think he’d seen that color blue before or since.

Using some of the excess lube, Eddie reached the fingers of his free hand down, teasing his hole. He’d been fucked by a few other guys since being catapulted into his sexual awakening, but none of them had compared to Richie; Richie’s _fingers_ were better than the other guys’ dicks. Eddie moaned as he slipped a finger inside himself, continuing to stroke his cock. He thought about Richie’s cock stretching him out, pounding into him, imagined his voice in his ear; it had him coming into his hand much sooner than he expected. He came with a whimper, breathing heavily.

His cheeks burned with embarrassment as he realized what he’d just done. He hurried to the bathroom to clean himself off, taking a shower that was much hotter than it needed to be. He did a little more studying before going to bed, but Richie still lingered in the back of his mind. And though he’d only ever slept with Richie once, his bed felt strangely empty.

 

*       *       *

 

Thursday came and went in a fog. Eddie made it through his Friday class and lab, but only by reminding himself that if he got distracted as a doctor somebody could die (he worked best under pressure). Once he got home Friday afternoon, all of the freaking out he’d been avoiding for the past two days came flooding out. Should he go to the concert? If he did, should he say hello? Would that be awkward? What was he even expecting to get out of this? They were a good band four years before, so they were probably even better at that point; Eddie figured that if he went, he could at least hear some good music. 

Thanks to that reasoning, he moved on from fretting over whether or not he should go to fretting over what he should wear. He wanted to look cute if he was gonna go to a concert (and see the hottest hook up he’d ever had), but he wasn’t really sure what the crowd would be. He decided a patterned button down with jeans would be fine.

The weather had been temperamental that week, as it usually was in New York City in November, and Eddie realized a few blocks too late that the jacket he was wearing wasn’t quite warm enough. He hugged it tighter around himself, trying not to shiver as he made his way to the venue. There was a small line, but the wait wasn’t too bad. He bought his ticket at the window and stuffed it in his pocket, wandering into the concert hall. It was decently packed, but there was plenty of room, and Eddie had a pretty good view of the stage. He wandered over to the bar and ordered a drink, figuring he might need one. He finished it almost embarrassingly quickly and headed back into the crowd just so he wouldn’t have to face the bartender’s questioning eyes.

His foot bounced as he continuously checked the time. The Instagram post hadn’t mentioned an opening act, so he figured there wasn’t one. He watched the minutes pass as more people flooded in, leaving him feeling especially alone. In a way he was grateful when the house lights went down, but as soon the cheering started his heart began hammering in his chest. It felt like it stilled completely when he saw the four of them walk on stage.

They looked different, yet the same. Eddie thanked whatever higher power might be out there that Beverly stepped up to the mic first; he thought he might pass out or puke or something if he heard Richie’s voice just then.

“Hey, New York,” she grinned, her voice just as smooth as Eddie remembered. “How’s everybody doing tonight?” Eddie clapped along with everyone else, but he was too breathless to join the crowd in their cheers. “Thank you so much for having us! We are The Losers Club, and this song is off our new EP!” They launched into a song then, and Eddie did his best to breathe and bounce along with the crowd. It worked, as from one song they bled directly into the next. But then Richie was walking up to his mic, and Eddie’s stomach twisted in knots.

Eddie could barely even register the greeting he gave. It felt so strange to be seeing him again, to be hearing that voice he sometimes still heard in his head but never imagined hearing again in real life. His hair was pulled back from his face in a half-up bun, revealing a canvas of freckles. Eddie could see his blue eyes shining clearly, his strong, black eyebrows set above them. He got lost in the way his lips moved, and as he watched them he began to register the words passing through them. “…and I’m Richie. I’m an Aquarius, a lover, and single.” He winked, smirking slightly. It made Eddie’s heart race and fall simultaneously; it was so similar to the first night they met, only now Richie’s eyes weren’t on him. Still, he stayed, just as drawn to him as he was four years before. All excuses Eddie could’ve made about romanticizing a memory went out the door – Richie was just as gorgeous and charming as he was in Eddie’s fantasies.

The show rose and fell in energy, Eddie becoming more and more infatuated with Richie with each song. He threw his head around so much that by about halfway through the show stray curls had come loose from the bun and were hanging around his face. During a song Richie sang, Eddie chanced a glance around at Stan, Mike, and Bev. As his eyes landed on Bev, he noticed her brow was curiously furrowed. He could’ve sworn her eyes locked with his own right before her face melted into something that looked, to Eddie’s concern, like recognition. She quickly turned back to her instrument, but Eddie didn’t miss the small smile that played across her lips. When the song ended, she whispered something in Richie’s ear that made his eyes widen. _Don’t be paranoid_ , Eddie told himself, _Or conceited for that matter. There’s no way any of them even remember you_. But Richie’s eyes began searching the crowd in a way that made Eddie wish he could turn invisible. Or into a neon sign. He couldn’t quite choose.

Richie’s eyes slid back down to his guitar as the next song began, Bev taking vocals. But once they got to the chorus, Richie’s eyes were on the crowd again. Eddie watched them scan through the faces, and he could see their blue color tainted purple by the stage lights even from where he was standing. He got so lost in them that he barely realized when they were trained on his own. He gasped lightly, his eyes going wide. Richie smiled, hesitantly at first, like he was unsure of what he was seeing. He licked his lips and winked, but his smile was still far more awestruck than flirty. He turned back to his guitar then, biting his lip in concentration as he’d done in the picture. Eddie nearly swooned.

Had they really met eyes? Had Richie really looked at him? He found it easy enough to dismiss – there were plenty of cute people in their twenties in the crowd, Richie could’ve been looking at anyone. But throughout the show, Eddie felt like Richie’s eyes kept coming back to his.

The show eventually ended. The four of them said goodbye and left the stage. The house lights came up. The crowd filed out of the venue.

Eddie followed them, feeling strangely empty. He really didn’t know what he’d been expecting; nothing, he supposed, but it was still incredibly disappointing. All that hype and anxiety and he maybe made eye contact with him. He really shouldn’t have been surprised. As the crowd moved him out of the venue, he was exposed to the cold rain that must have started falling at some point during the show. _Fucking fantastic_ , Eddie thought, bitter that he hadn’t worn a jacket with a hood (bomber jackets were just too cute to resist).

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he was in such a mood that he almost didn’t check it. But, figuring it could be urgent, he begrudgingly checked the alert. He immediately stopped in his tracks, absently apologizing to someone who ran into him after his sudden halt.

 **Richie:** hey

 **Richie:** i didnt know u live in nyc now

Eddie’s breath caught. So he had seen him. He forgot that he had never deleted Richie’s contact. He remembered keeping it as a small act of rebellion for the two months he spent with Myra after coming home from Havana, before he found the courage to come out to her and express how he felt he was being treated unfairly in their relationship (to put it lightly). He supposed he just never got around to deleting it after that.

 **Eddie:** you guys were amazing tonight (:

He stepped to the side of the sidewalk, his heart hammering in his chest. He huddled over his phone to protect it from the rain.

“Thanks.” Eddie jumped, looking up to find Richie walking over to him, a big grin on his lips. His hair was down now, his curls hanging in his eyes and quickly becoming drenched. He was even more breathtaking up close. Eddie smiled softly, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder.

“Hi,” he said, unsure of what else to say.

“Hey,” Richie replied. “It’s been a minute.”

“Yeah,” Eddie chuckled.

“You wanna go find somewhere dry?” Richie asked. “You’re shaking.” Eddie hadn’t even noticed the cold rain seeping into his clothes since he saw Richie’s text. “We could go to a bar or a diner or something.”

“My apartment’s only a few blocks away,” Eddie suggested, his mouth working faster than his mind. But Richie didn’t seem to mind.

“Lead the way.”

The walk was a bit awkward, and Eddie was torn between feeling like he was walking on air and feeling like he was tripping over every word that came out of his mouth. “So what are you doing in New York?” Richie asked.

“Med school,” Eddie answered.

“Oh, that’s awesome! Where?”

“NYU.”

“Shit,” Richie whistled, making Eddie blush. “You’ve got some serious brains. How long have you been there?”

“Finishing up my third semester next month.”

“So, you learn a lot about anatomy in med school?” Richie asked, waggling his eye brows. “That’s sexy.” Eddie laughed at that, shaking his head.

“Listen, I’m not judging you if you’re into diagrams of blood vessels and bodily systems and organs and shit, but I don’t wanna hear about it either,” Eddie teased, making Richie bark a laugh.

“Maybe I should become a doctor.”

“Oh yeah? How come?”

“I mean, I’m already pretty great at rearranging organs.”

Eddie burst out laughing at that, his cheeks red from the innuendo. “Oh my god, I’m not letting you into my apartment if you make any more horrible medical jokes.” Eddie was surprised by how comfortable he felt talking to Richie, especially given that two hours prior he thought he might puke if Richie looked at him. But actually talking with him, being alone again, just felt right. Natural, somehow.

They made it back to Eddie’s apartment, both of them soaked and shivering, lips and fingertips tinged the slightest shade of blue. “Let me get you a towel,” Eddie said, giggling as Richie shook the water out of his hair, not unlike a dog. He ran to the bathroom, taking a minute to take a breath. When he returned to the living room, he found Richie looking around, his jacket over his arm. “Here,” Eddie said, offering him the towel. “I can hang that up for you.”

“What a stunning host,” Richie grinned, handing Eddie his jacket. Eddie hung it up in the front closet, trying not to get his hopes up as to the length of the visit. Eddie walked back to find Richie towel drying his hair, bent over at the waist. When he stood back up, his flipped his hair over his head in a way that was just hot enough to not be cheesy. Eddie knew he was staring when Richie looked over at him, but he couldn’t help it.

“Um,” he said, suddenly overly aware of his hands and the fact that he had no idea what to do with them. “If you want a change of clothes, let me know. I might have something that’ll fit you. I don’t want you to be cold or get pneumonia or anything.” Richie’s eyes grew darker and darker as Eddie fumbled over his words.

“My clothes are dryer than yours,” Richie pointed out, slowly walking over until the small distance between them was bridged. Eddie held his breath, his chin tilting up to meet Richie’s eyes. “We should probably get you out of these, get you warmed up.” Eddie felt Richie’s fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, a question in his blue eyes. Eddie nodded, and just like that Richie’s lips were on his.

Eddie whimpered into it, his hands finding their way to Richie’s chest like magnets. His fingers slid into the curls at the nape of his neck, holding him down as their lips moved together. Richie began undoing the buttons on Eddie’s shirt, breaking the kiss for a moment to take it off entirely. Eddie grabbed the front of Richie’s shirt and dragged him into his bedroom. He then tore it off of him, kissing and biting along his neck and collar bones. It was like letting go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, finally getting something he hadn’t even realized he’d been longing for. Richie’s skin was smooth and somehow warm, and whether it was cologne or just soap he smelled amazing. Eddie began undoing Richie’s belt, making the latter chuckle. “You wanna play doctor, Eds?” he teased. “Gonna give me a colonoscopy?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, pulling Richie’s pants down – which was an impressive feat, as they were wet skinny jeans. “Maybe if you’re lucky,” he whispered in his ear. They both giggled at that, kissing each other through their smiles. It quickly became heated again, Richie’s tongue sliding over Eddie’s. Eddie whimpered at the sensation; it had never felt as good with anyone else as it did with Richie. “Get on the bed,” he ordered, giving Richie’s shoulders a small shove. Richie let himself fall back onto the bed, staring up at Eddie with wonderstruck eyes and a delighted grin. He got himself comfortable as he watched Eddie take his pants off. They were soaking, and stuck to his legs, which made the process kind of difficult. They both laughed as Eddie struggled to peel them off, and Eddie couldn’t remember ever feeling so comfortable getting naked in front of someone.

When he finally got them off, he climbed on top of Richie, taking his face in his hands and kissing him deeply. Richie ran his hands down Eddie’s sides, warming up his cold skin. The sensation made Eddie moan and melt into Richie. Richie pulled Eddie flush against him, sliding his hands down to his ass and giving it a playful squeeze. Eddie groaned, moving his lips to Richie’s neck where he bit down hard. Richie let out a moan that was almost a yelp, bucking his hips up into Eddie’s. Eddie grinded down against him, both of them hard in their boxers as they rubbed against each other. Eddie kissed down Richie’s chest, leaving dark hickeys across his pale skin. Richie ran his hands through Eddie’s hair, moaning at the marks. “Fuck, Eds, love the way you mark me up,” he whimpered. Eddie’s heart soared at the nickname, and he leaned up to kiss Richie deeply.

“I’m glad you like it, because hickeys look really pretty on you,” Eddie practically purred, kissing Richie’s neck again as he pulled his boxers off. He sat back and admired Richie’s cock, nearly whimpering at the sight as he took it in his hands. “God, I want you inside me so bad,” Eddie said reverently.

“That can be arranged,” Richie grinned, gasping when Eddie ran his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves under the head.

“We’ll get there,” Eddie smirked before leaning down and licking teasingly at the head of Richie’s cock. Richie groaned as Eddie looked up into his eyes and took his cock down his throat. Eddie loved the way it stretched out his lips and throat, he loved gagging on it and hearing the noises it elicited from Richie. Richie’s fingers slid through Eddie’s hair, gently guiding him down. Eddie pulled his hand away, popping off of Richie’s cock. “Be patient, baby,” he said, stroking Richie’s thigh. “Gonna make you feel so good, I promise.” Richie whimpered at that, nodding and tangling his hands in the sheets. Eddie rewarded him by taking his cock back in his mouth, stroking the base while he bobbed his head up and down with hollowed cheeks. Richie moaned, hips stuttering upward into Eddie’s mouth.

“God, baby, it feels so good,” Richie whimpered. “Please let me touch you, sweetheart, let me make you feel good.” Eddie lifted his head, stroking his cock slowly as he eyed Richie contemplatively. He looked desperate for it. It made Eddie want to start riding him right then and there. Instead, he leaned over and kissed Richie slowly; as badly as they both wanted it, Eddie wanted to savor this, wanted to make it last. He reached into his nightstand and retrieved his lube, handing it to Richie. “Why don’t you open me up, baby?” he murmured in Richie’s ear, biting at his ear lobe. As soon as the words were out, Richie was flipping Eddie over onto his back, kissing him fiercely. It made Eddie’s breath hitch and more blood flow to his cock. Slow was nice, but it was also ridiculously hot when Richie showed him how badly he wanted him.

Richie sat back on his heels, and Eddie watched in anticipation as he coated his fingers with lube. He nudged Eddie’s legs open, smiling down at him when he opened them further. It wasn’t more than a small smirk, but it had Eddie’s skin flushing all over. Richie leaned down and pressed kisses to the inside of Eddie’s thighs as he teased the ring of muscle with the pad of his middle finger. Eddie squirmed at the teasing, appreciating the view of Richie’s head between his thighs. “Please,” he whimpered, aching to feel Richie inside of him.

Richie’s eyes flickered up to meet Eddie’s, the blue largely eclipsed. “You want my fingers, baby?” he asked. Eddie nodded. “I bet you were watching them all night again, weren’t you? Imagining what they’d feel like inside of you?” Eddie whimpered, nodding again. Richie slipped his finger inside of Eddie, making the latter sigh in pleasure, his head falling back to the pillow.

“Fuck, that feels good,” Eddie praised, running his hands through Richie’s hair. Richie slowly pushed his finger in and out; Eddie rocked his hips to get him to go faster. “Come on, baby, fuck me harder, get me nice and ready for your cock,” Eddie encouraged. But when he looked at Richie, he only smirked.

“We’ll get there,” Richie said, quoting Eddie back to himself.

“More,” Eddie whined, “please.” Richie curled his finger inside of Eddie, making him gasp. Then he began pushing deeper, faster, and Eddie’s fingers tugged at his hair. “Yes!” he gasped, rolling his hips.

“Do you like that?” Richie asked, circling his finger inside of Eddie to match the movement of his hips.

“Yes, it’s so good,” Eddie moaned, stroking Richie’s hair approvingly. “You’re so good with your fingers, fuck.”

“You look so beautiful,” Richie whispered reverently. Eddie lifted his head to look him in the eye, his heart racing and throat refusing to form a verbal response. Luckily, Richie slid another finger into Eddie then, making him moan with his eyes blown wide. “I love how I can take you apart with just my fingers. Can’t wait to see what you’ll sound like with my cock inside of you.”

“ _God_ , put it inside of me, then,” Eddie groaned, desperate for it by that point.

“Say please,” Richie grinned. Eddie shot him a heated look before quickly sitting up and surprising Richie by climbing into his lap. Their cocks rubbed together, making both of them moan. Eddie cupped Richie’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply, drawing his lower lip between his teeth. Richie moaned, his hands falling to Eddie’s waist. Richie angled his head to deepen the kiss, his tongue swiping across Eddie’s lower lip. But Eddie pulled away, making Richie whimper. He smirked as he leaned over and got a condom out of his nightstand. He kissed Richie as he tore open the foil and rolled it onto Richie’s hard cock. Richie moaned into the kiss, his hands gripping Eddie’s waist tighter. Eddie continued to stroke his cock, his tongue teasing Richie’s. Richie tried to pull Eddie up by his hips, rutting forward.

“You want me to sit on your cock?” Eddie asked.

“God, yes, _fuck_ ,” Richie nodded, kissing Eddie’s neck. Eddie tugged him back by his hair, making him whimper. Eddie smirked.

“Say please.”

“ _Please_ ,” Richie whined, “please, baby, please ride my cock, let me feel you.” He grinded his dick against Eddie’s ass insistently.

“A little impatient?” Eddie giggled.

“I’ve waited four and a half fucking years for this,” Richie chuckled breathlessly. The words almost made Eddie stop, as they caught him so off guard. Had Richie really thought about him all those years? “Please, _please_ sit on my cock.” Eddie’s brain and body caught up then, bringing him back to the present moment. He rose up on his knees, bracing himself on Richie’s shoulder with one hand while guiding Richie’s cock to his hole with the other. Eddie gasped as he began to lower himself, the head of Richie’s cock stretching him out. It burned, but it also felt amazing as Eddie continued to lower himself, filling himself up with more and more of Richie’s cock. Their eyes never left one another’s as Eddie took in more and more of Richie until he was finally sat on Richie’s thighs, Richie’s cock buried deep inside of him. They both gasped lightly, unable to take their eyes off each other as they adjusted to the sensation. “Worth the wait,” Richie finally breathed, a small smile dancing across his lips.

“Definitely,” Eddie agreed with a grin to match Richie’s. He slowly began to rock back and forth, bouncing a little bit. He kept his hands on Richie’s shoulders, but Richie’s hands wandered all over Eddie’s chest, back, and sides. “God, you feel amazing inside me, so deep,” Eddie praised, rising higher and higher with every bounce until his was well and truly fucking himself on Richie’s cock. Richie moaned, pressing wet kisses all across Eddie’s chest. Eddie brought one hand to his hair, stroking it while he rode him. He moaned loudly when he dropped into Richie’s lap at a certain angle, making pleasure shoot through him.

“So good,” Richie murmured into Eddie’s chest as Eddie grinded down into his lap. He wrapped his fingers around Eddie’s cock, making the latter gasp.

“Fuck,” he moaned as Richie teased the head of his cock. “Oh my god, holy shit, shit, _fuck_ ,” he moaned. The sensation of Richie’s fingers around his cock was so intense on top of how full he felt with Richie’s cock inside of him. He shoved on Richie’s shoulders so that he was lying on his back, watching as Eddie bounced on his cock.

“Oh my fucking god, you look so fucking good,” Richie panted, one hand gripping Eddie’s hip as the other jerked his cock. “God, please let me fuck you, baby, let me make you feel as good as you’re making me feel.” Eddie moaned at that, leaning back and throwing his head back as he rolled his hips. Richie ran his hand down Eddie’s chest reverently making Eddie shiver.

“I thought you liked watching me fuck myself with your cock,” Eddie said, lifting his face to look at Richie with a raised eyebrow.

“I do, it’s so fucking hot,” Richie said. “But I wanna make you feel good.”

“You do make me feel good,” Eddie said, leaning forward to stroke Richie’s cheek as he praised him. “Your cock is so fucking big, fills me up so good,” Eddie cooed, gasping a bit at the new angle. “Oh, wow,” he muttered involuntarily, steadying himself on Richie’s chest and letting his head fall forward. Richie bucked his hips up experimentally, thrusting his cock deep into Eddie. Eddie let out a surprised moan, encouraging Richie, who grabbed Eddie’s hips with both hands, bouncing him up and down on his cock. “Yes, baby,” Eddie moaned breathily, eyes fluttering shut. Richie bent his knees, giving himself the leverage to fuck his cock in and out of Eddie. Eddie cried out, his hands slipping off Richie’s chest to grip at the sheets on either side of his face. “Oh, fuck yeah, fuck me just like that,” Eddie moaned, burying his face in Richie’s chest.

“You like it when I fuck you like this?” Richie asked, pressing kisses to Eddie’s hair. “You like it hard?”

“Yes, yes, shit, you fuck me so good,” Eddie moaned, lifting his face to kiss Richie while he fucked him. Eddie rocked his hips back, meeting Richie’s thrusts.

“Holy fucking shit,” Richie moaned into Eddie’s lips. “So good, Eds, getting close, baby.” Eddie pushed Richie’s long curls back from his forehead, kissing the smooth skin there.

“Come for me, baby,” Eddie told him. “Want it inside of me. Can you do that for me?”

“God, yes,” Richie panted, kissing Eddie hungrily. He gripped his hips harder, his thrusts speeding up, becoming sloppier, more desperate. Eddie could feel himself getting close as well. He leaned up on his hands, using one to stroke his cock as he watched Richie’s face twist in pleasure. He stilled his hips as he came with a cry of Eddie’s name. Eddie followed quickly behind, practically shouting as his come shot onto Richie’s stomach and chest.

Eddie slowly lifted himself off of Richie’s cock, feeling the loss and emptiness more sharply than he’d expected. Richie pulled the condom off, tying it off and tossing it toward the waste basket in the corner of Eddie’s room. Eddie rolled his eyes fondly as he missed spectacularly. He went to retrieve it, but Richie stopped him. “I’ll get it.”

“Thanks,” Eddie smiled, eyeing him curiously when he made no move to get up.

“I’ll get it later,” he clarified with a lazy grin, gently tugging Eddie down next to him. Eddie let himself be guided down, albeit a bit hesitantly. His last few hook ups had been a while ago, and they hadn’t stuck around for cuddles. But then, he should’ve known Richie would be different; everything was different with Richie.

“You don’t want me to get something to clean you up?” Eddie asked, nodding to the mess he’d made on Richie’s front. Richie waved it off.

“In a minute,” he murmured. “Right now I just wanna lay here with you in our post-orgasmic bliss.” Eddie giggled at that, finally relaxing into Richie’s embrace. His heart fluttered at the warmth that surrounded him as Richie ran his fingers gently over Eddie’s arm. He listened to the beat of Richie’s heart, the sound of rain pounding against the window in the background. Thunder rumbled distantly. Richie sighed contentedly while Eddie held his breath.

“I’m sorry I never texted you back,” Eddie blurted out suddenly, his voice booming in the silent room despite his efforts to speak softly.

“I understand,” Richie assured him, no malice or hesitation in his voice. Maybe a remnant of bittersweet pain. “I don’t know why I kept texting you. I didn’t really think I’d ever see you again, but I guess a part of me just sort of hoped… I don’t really know what I was hoping for.” He chuckled, but there wasn’t much humor behind it. “To see you again, I guess. To see if there could be something between us. It just… I felt like, how could something so amazing, something that really just fucking felt _right_ , only be meant to last a week? I just really didn’t feel like I could let you go that easily.”

Eddie’s chest swelled with every word, his eyes threatening to become watery. “I felt it, too,” he admitted. “Like there was something different about you, something special. But it, I don’t know, scared me, I guess. I think it was a lot all at once.” Richie hummed, nodding his head slightly. “But I missed you so much. I felt weird about it, too, ‘cause we barely knew each other, but I really did miss you.”

Richie turned his head to look Eddie in the eye. “I missed you, too.”

“I can’t believe you’re really here.”

“I know what you mean,” Richie grinned. “My heart almost stopped when Bev told me she saw you in the crowd tonight.”

“Mine stopped when you looked at me,” Eddie admitted with a small grin.

“How’d you even know about the show anyway?”

“Some girls were talking about it in a coffee shop I was in.”

“May God bless them,” Richie said in a horrible Southern accent, making Eddie giggle. The tension flooded from his body with every word they exchanged.

“You wanna get cleaned up now?” Eddie suggested, eyeing his now drying come distastefully. Richie laughed at his expression.

“Yeah, that might be a good idea,” he agreed. “But I gotta do one thing first.”

“What’s that?” Eddie asked. Richie smirked as he cupped Eddie’s cheek and pulled him into a soft, tender kiss.

“Fuck, I don’t think I’ll get tired of that any time soon,” Richie grinned, making Eddie blush.

“Me neither.”

He led them into the bathroom, starting the shower. Eddie hadn’t showered with someone else in ages; he’d forgotten how nice it was. They took their time lathering each other with soap, lips attaching to any patch of skin they could access. Richie gave them both bubble beards, and they struggled not to laugh so as to not swallow any soap. Eddie’s heart ached, but it felt good – like sitting down after a good run. Eddie thought that this should be awkward, showering with someone he hadn’t talked to in years. But it felt so right to be with Richie, to be open and vulnerable with him and to still feel so comfortable and safe.

And free. Eddie felt so free with Richie.

Richie texted to Bev to let her know he was safe before settling into Eddie’s bed for the night. The two men cuddled into each other, kissing lazily under the covers. It was nice, _so_ nice, but there was still something nagging at Eddie, something he couldn’t brush off, hard as he tried. “So how long do you think you’ll be in New York?” he asked, trying to sound casual. Richie seemed to contemplate the question for a moment.

“How many years do you have left of med school?” Eddie hid his smile in Richie’s neck, blushing furiously as he shook his head. Richie pulled him up for more kisses, wrapping Eddie tightly in his arms. “You’re a god damn fool if you think I’m letting you go again, Eddie Kaspbrak.” Eddie smiled softly, gazing into Richie’s eyes. He was really excited to wake up to them.

“I don’t wanna let you go either,” Eddie whispered, kissing Richie softly.

They drifted off to the sound of gently falling rain.

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is bi-beverie, I post most of my fics there as well as on here (shameless plug lmao)!! also this is my first multi-part reddie fic, so feedback is always appreciated lol


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